OMG! I feel bad!

Stopping the coke and the candy is hurting. Bad! Physically and mentally I feel like a truck drove over me. Oh man. I didn't think it would get this bad. All I want to do is go to bed. I sure hope I can get the grocery shopping done tomorrow since we gave all that food to Gabe. We have no fruit. I think we have some carrots though. I might have some of those in a few minutes. I feel woozy and this headache is taking over my whole existence. I'm really hoping tomorrow will be a better day. I need to get up early to do the shopping. And the juicer arrives tomorrow. I'm looking forward to eating fruit and a salad tomorrow in addition to my first juice. That's it for now. I'm just feeling too poorly right now. :-(

I have a headache

I have a mild headache that appears to be getting worse as the day goes by. I was expecting it because I'm not drinking Cherry Cokes. I was having 2 a day and haven't had any since Thursday. Getting off the sugar and caffeine is the hardest part for me. Drinking water is also difficult. I know I need to hydrate but I just can't get myself to drink much water. I could have herbal tea but I don't want to use sugar and I don't know if I'd like the taste. Guess I'll have to try it so I'll know.

I checked out that market up on Dublin. It's called Sprouts now. I can get there without driving up Academy Blvd so I'll go tomorrow and pick up some stuff to start eating and juicing. I think I'll go with eating and juicing fruits and veggies for the first few days then trying just juicing after that. I don't want to feel miserable while juicing because I'll think it's the juicing and I won't want to continue doing it. Eating whole fruits and salads plus some nuts and seeds will be a good idea. I don't want to go cold turkey to just juicing. I think it will be better for David too. I know we will both struggle with this at first. Changing our diet to healthy food is always hard. We're so used to eating processed junk food all the time. I am going to cook a steak tonight and make onion potatoes along with some corn. Then we'll be off the meats for a while. I might get some chicken though so if we really have a craving for food we'll have something her in the freezer that we can cook.

I have the food ready for Gabe and will be glad to see it go. I want to eat the chips that are there so bad. I'm not going to eat them though. I'm not hungry. I just want to eat some junk food. I'll wait for dinner. I did have a ham and cheese bagel sandwich for lunch. It tasted good but I know the nitrates in the ham aren't good for me. If I don't get rid of the bagels that are left (3 of them) I know I will end up eating them. I'll see if Gabe will take them. If not, then I'll put them in a small, plastic bag and put them right in the trash can that's in the garage. I have to take away the temptation.

I'll be so glad when the headache is gone. I'm tempted to take some Tylenol but don't think I will. I need to feel this so I can remind myself why I'm doing this. I know I'm suffering because of the crap I put into my body and now that I've stopped my body is rebelling. Soon it will be used to good foods and the rebellion will stop. But, I'm going to have to go through the withdrawals and detoxifying first. I have watched a lot of videos and know that everyone goes through it for the first few days or maybe even a week. After that though everyone feels much better. No headaches, more energy and the hunger/cravings go by the wayside too. I know that I'll be more tempted to eat if I'm just sitting around doing nothing so I'll probably be blogging a lot and trying to do things to keep busy. I'm hoping to start walking again soon. That not only will give me something to do but will help me to lose weight and feel better. I know it will hurt at first but I also know that the pain goes away quickly if I keep up the walking. For now I will probably walk in the neighborhood and maybe after a while I could go to Palmer Park and hike there again. That would be so nice.

This is my pill drawer. I take about 9 medications every day. I'm hoping that if I eat better that I can get off some of this stuff.

That's it for now.

Day 2 - Feeling tired already

I haven't even started juicing yet and I feel tired already because I cut out caffeine. I did get up early to get the trash out (we had A LOT of cardboard boxes we broke down) and to drop off my 24 hour urine test at the lab. That was pretty quick. Then I came home and went back to bed for an hour and a half. I'm still tired even after taking a morning nap. Gabe hasn't contacted about about picking up this food I want to get rid of so I don't know if I'll be grocery shopping today or tomorrow. David has a breakfast tomorrow and then volunteers at the Ronald McDonald House so I'd have plenty of time to go grocery shopping tomorrow. I had an apple for breakfast. I really wanted to stop at McDonald's but decided against doing that. I'm proud of myself for showing some restraint and not getting fast food.

I'm having second thoughts about doing a juice fast. Haven't even started yet and I'm having second thoughts. Sheesh! I'm concerned about doing this and being on so much medication. I think I'm going to follow the 15 day plan and have a salad for dinner each night so I get more fiber. Also, I read that a juice fast doesn't give you much B12 and I'm already deficient in B12 so I'll have to make sure I take my supplement for that and the D3 so I don't go any lower than I already am.

I also have to be careful for David since he has Type 2 Diabetes. He can't have a ton of fruit because it could cause his blood sugar to go high. He has to mostly have veggies juiced. I think there is a good balance in the recipes we'll be using. His yearly physical is in July. Hopefully he can lose some weight by then and all his lab work will come back okay.

I forgot to drink some hot lemon water this morning. I will do that after I finish doing this. I have to end the day with a hot cup of herbal tea too. I will have to remember to do that. I'm not really hungry but the desire to eat is strong. I have all this food sitting there that I don't want to eat but I have no fruit and only some lettuce and carrots. I've got to get the grocery shopping done. I have steak and potatoes for dinner tonight and I think I'll fix that so it doesn't go to waste (it's a $12 t-bone steak). Hopefully Gabe can come by today or tomorrow and pick up all this food. I need the room in the fridge mostly. I do need to get all the dishes off the counter and into the dishwasher today too so I'll have room on the counter for all the fruits and veggies that don't need to be refrigerated. I'll be having stuff I don't normally have doing this juice fast but it will be blended with other stuff so I'm hoping that it will be okay taste wise.

I also have to wait to go grocery shopping because I don't have the money I need to shop right now. I sold one of my laptops and will get $200 for it this afternoon. So it looks like grocery shopping will have to wait until tomorrow. I'd like to join Costco so I can buy in bulk but I don't think it's organic and I'd really like to buy organic fruits and veggies. That means shopping at Whole Foods or Sunflower Market. Whole Foods is more expensive but is close by. I think that the Sunflower Market would have better prices but it's on the north side of town on Academy Blvd. I'll have to think about going there though to get the best value for my money. With Costco there would be a $55 sign up fee and I really can't afford that right now. It will be interesting to see how much money we spend on juicing versus regular groceries, eating out and the convenience store. This month was really bad because I went to the convenience store a lot and bought tons of junk food. I spent about $650 on eating out and junk food. That's ridiculous!! Plus we spent another $350 on groceries!! What the heck!!

Gabe just texted me. He'll be by this afternoon to pick up the food. Yay! It will be good to have it gone. Some of the stuff in there is really tempting me so I'll be glad when it's gone. Then I'll have tons of room for healthier food. Now I'm looking forward to going grocery shopping tomorrow. I think I will try the Sunflower Market. I'll look it up online and see if they have an ad I can look at before I shop. I'm excited.

Bayou will also be eating better because she won't be getting all the fast food we've been giving her. I know it's not good for her either. Her dog food is really good and is for maintaining a healthy weight so giving her the fast food wasn't good for her. She's not fat but since she's not going to daycare I have to watch her weight too.

So, even though I'm having some cravings, I know I'm not really hungry and I'm trying not to eat out of boredom or emotions. It will be difficult but it will be worth it in the long run. I really want to get off all the medications I'm on. And it would be great if I could lose some weight and be healthier inside and out. I'm grateful that I don't have a massive headache from caffeine withdrawal but that might come so I'm prepared for it. I know I will feel worse before I feel better. I'm expecting to be hungry, tired, cranky and to have a headache for the first 3 or 4 days. Then I think I will turn a corner and feel better. I'm going to try to blog every day during this journey so I can look back to see where I was and where I will be going. Blogging also helps to keep me busy and that will help too.

Day 2 of the journey is going well so far. I'm still just in the preparation stage but am excited to be in the juice fast stage soon. I'll spend some time getting my grocery list ready today so I'll be prepared for tomorrow. On to better health!

Before pictures

This is my least favorite picture of myself. I've lost of little bit of weight since this picture was taken because I had no appetite for months and lost some weight. I weighed about 280 then.

This is me today, May 30th, 2013, 267 pounds. It doesn't help that the picture is distorted but you get the idea.

I'd like to weigh about 150-160 pounds but more importantly I'd like to feel good and be healthy no matter what the weight. I'm going to take it one day at a time though. I'm in this for the long haul. I can't take being like this anymore. Things have to change!

Juice Fast - Day 1 - preparing for the coming days

It's been 5 months since I posted. I still don't feel good but now I'm going to do something about it. Instead of waiting for doctors to fix me or give me even more medications I'm going to try juicing fruits and veggies. David actually got me going in this direction by asking me to watch a video, by an Australian guy name Joe Cross, called "Fat Sick and Nearly Dead". In the movie Joe does a 60 day juice fast, curing his chronic urticaria (a skin condition), going off the Prednisone he'd been on for 8 years and losing about 100 pounds! I've watched a lot of videos on youtube about the transformation that other people have had and find it to be very interesting. Joe has kept off the weight since 2006 and looks awesome. As much as I want to lose 100 pounds more importantly I want to get off the 9+ medications I'm on, have some energy and have a better quality of sleep. I'm tired all the time, can't do anything physical without tiring immediately and feel sick every day. I'm also tired of being in pain all the time. I'm desperate and I am willing to give juicing a go. I've been thinking about doing it for weeks and have done a lot of research and watched a lot of videos in preparation for starting the process of changing my eating habits. I don't know if I could do a 60 day fast like Joe Cross did but I'm willing to start with 3 days and go from there.

So, today I cleaned out the cupboards, fridge and freezer. I have 7 bags of groceries that will be going to my son. I feel great just having done that. It was so cleansing to remove all the food that hasn't been helping me feel better. It's not bad food it's just not that healthy for me. At my age (53) and my weight (267) I can't eat whatever I want. I have to make better choices. For now that choice is going to be fruits, veggies, lean protein, nuts, seeds and beans. I am going to start juicing Saturday when our Breville juicer gets here. I've already made my grocery list and will do the grocery shopping tomorrow. I was going to try to take 10-14 days to wean off all the sugar, caffeine, salt, processed foods, fast foods and convenience foods but knowing what I do now I can't eat that stuff anymore. I've removed the unhealthy foods and taken the temptation away. I have decided that I won't eat fast food or go to the convenience store for Cherry Coke and candy. I am not going to wait until the 1st or until Monday to do it. I'm going to do it starting today. I can't juice until Saturday but I can make some better choices until then. The best choice I can make is staying away from junk food and processed food.

There's not much in the freezer beside the bag of food we'll be giving to Gabe. There's more in the fridge than I'd like right now but that will be taken care of too by giving away 2 bags to Gabe and getting rid of the other opened foods. My next pictures (tomorrow) will show a fridge, freezer and counter full of fruits and veggies and other good stuff. I need to clear off a space for the juicer so I'll be moving the microwave across the room. I want the juicer to be on the lower counter to make it easier to use. I'm really excited about making these changes. I look forward to seeing a healthier me in the days, weeks and months to come.

Right now I just thought "what if I fail?". Well, all I can do is try. I'm giving it my best effort and really trying to be as proactive as I can be. Maybe juicing won't be for me I'm thinking but being Fat Sick and Nearly Dead isn't for me either. I don't like the way I look or feel. I spend more at take out and the convenience store than I do on groceries. I spend hundreds of dollars every month on prescription medication too. It will cost more to buy all the fruits and veggies (especially if I buy organic) but I'm thinking that it will be less overall than I'm spending now on the junk and processed food and medications.

The first step has been taken - I cleared out most of the junk food in the house. Now I just have to get Gabe over here to pick it up so I can put healthy stuff in its place. Then it's on to grocery shopping and starting the new way of life. Saturday the juicer gets here and I'll be figuring out how to use that and what juices I like. I'm going to try the juices that are recommended on Joe Crosses site (rebootwithjoe.com). I'll keep making the ones that I can tolerate and like and stop making the ones that I don't like. There are so many juice recipes out there that I know I can find many that I do like.

Am I nervous? Yes, I am. And today, because of all the soda I drank yesterday and all the crap food I ate last night, I have a very upset stomach today. I know the first few days of the fast will be difficult. Being off of caffeine will be difficult. Earlier today I just wanted to eat some chips or some other kind of junk food but instead I had some peanuts. I was shocked though after looking at the label to see that there was corn starch,, sugar and other junk in the peanuts. Eating organic is going to be important. I feel like I am so ill prepared even though I've learned a lot in the last 2 weeks. I don't know much about eating healthy so it will be a learning process for me. I'm going to continue watching videos and researching how to go about doing this but I'm not going to wait until I know everything to get started. I feel I have enough knowledge to get started on this journey.

I'm really curious to see if I will like juicing. We're making an investment in it by buying the juicer, getting rid of food and buying tons of fruits and veggies (well enough for 3 or 4 days anyway, which is a ton to me).

David needs this too. He also is having medical problems that require medication and has a lot of weight to lose. But once again, it's the health issues being resolved that is key and primary.

This is 4 bags of food I cleared out of the cabinets to give to Gabe. Seven bags of food total. That's a lot of food! If he doesn't take it I'll have to donate to the food bank and throw away what can't be donated. I'd hate to do that but can't wait too long for Gabe to get this stuff. I have to shop by Saturday to get the ball rolling.

I worry that I'm getting too excited and that this won't work in the end. I've tried so many things but have never been that successful or kept with anything so I'm nervous about trying something yet again. I know how to make something into a project but can I make it into a way of life. I don't want to be miserable or hate what I'm eating (or drinking as the case may be). I know I can only do this if I see results and if I can find juices that I like. Otherwise I'll just go back to eating junk again. It does feel good though to clean out the cupboards, fridge and freezer. I'll feel better when the stuff is gone and I can get more out of the fridge.

I can actually see myself six months from now having lost some weight, looking better and feeling great. I can also see not having to take all of the medications I'm taking right now. I'd like to be off all of them within a year. I'm sure it's possible to get off the high cholesterol med, the GERD med and the pain meds. It's the medication for depression and sleep disturbance that I'm not sure about. I want off of them too but just don't know if eating better will help "cure" the depression and sleep problems. I'm fairly sure it can though and I'm going to keep a positive attitude about it.

So that's where things are today. I'm nervous about starting but also excited too. I look forward to getting that juicer in 2 days and trying my first juice. I know I'm picky about food so it won't be easy but I'm willing to give it a go. I posted Genesis 1:28-30 today on facebook. Basically it says that God has given us all the food we need in the fruits and veggies that come from the ground. I guess if God says that it's what I need then it probably is. I can do this. With accountability through my blog and the support of family and friends I can make the changes I need to make. It will be a journey and I'll have to learn as I go along but I can do it.