Anxiety sucks

I've been dealing with anxiety for months now. It was gone for a few days and I felt better but ti's been back the last 2 days. It sucks. I don't know what to do about it. Taking meds doesn't help because it just makes the anxiety worse when the med wears off. I'm trying to deal with it and handle it the best I can each day but it's been terrible. It's cold today too which is just making it worse. I feel trapped. Feeling bad on top of this is even worse. I just want to feel better. I can't get to the doctor because I can't drive myself. I don't know what to do to make this better. There's not much the doctors can do anyway. Drugs just seem to make it worse. If I didn't have Bayou I think I would be in the hospital (the mental hospital probably) but I do have her so I need to be home. That doesn't help. David is at the end of his rope with all of this and I don't blame him. I am too. I wish he were home. I can get more done when he is home because I'm not as afraid then. I'm still anxious about things breaking down and don't want to run the dishwasher or washing machine. I hate feeling like this. I need a shower too but am afraid of taking one while I am alone. I'll try to get stuff done when David gets home this afternoon. He went into work early and I was hoping he'd get home early but I think he'll be getting home at 3pm as scheduled.

I sent David and email at work because I was feeling so bad. I needed to get some things off my mind and I hope he understands. I had to ask him to pick up my prescriptions for me today. I know he doesn't like doing that kind of stuff but I need my pain med and I just couldn't go get it myself.

The anxiety is getting worse so I'm going to quit posting for now.