Medication status

I've been taking the Ativan and the Lithium since Monday night. On a scale of 0 - 10 I'd say the meds are having an effect of about a 3 at most. I'm still anxious about driving. It is helping decrease the shaking and chest tightness though. So it is making a difference. I still feel depressed though because the anxiety is keeping me from doing things I would like to do. I did take a shower today and wasn't afraid near as much of the shower breaking. I did wait until David was home and up before I showered though. Tomorrow will be interesting because David has to work all day so if I need to go anywhere or use any appliances I'll be doing it  on my own. David went to bed around 7:30pm tonight. I'll probably join him in an hour or so. I already took my meds. Gabe and Katie went up to Estes Park today. I would love to be able to do that but just going 2 miles to the store gets me so anxious I feel ill so I think that a day long ride isn't in the cards for me right now. I wouldn't be able to trust the car making it the whole way. Maybe if we rented a car I could do it but even then I don't know. David is off for 4 days next weekend but we won't be able to go anywhere because of this anxiety. I feel bad about that but there's not much I can do about it. I was anxious today too because Maria, my house cleaner, is moving out of state and I have to find a new house cleaner. I emailed one on Angie's List but haven't heard back from her yet. If I don't hear from her by Monday I'll give her a call. I need to get someone in for an estimate and to get them scheduled. I'll definitely be charged more than the $45 that Maria charged me so I'll have to work that into the budget. Too many things that are making me anxious. At least the Ativan makes it bearable right now. I'll be calling Dr. Fouss on Monday to let him know how I'm feeling. I'm not sure what he'll do, if anything, about adjusting my meds. I need to get some lab work done but I'm anxious about driving to the lab. Maybe I can get myself to do it Monday after I drop off Bayou. I also have to set up my physical and annual exam with Shellie. I need to get that scheduled. The driving is such an issue. I have to do it though. Driving all the way up Powers really psychs me out, especially since they are repaving the road and it's and bumpy. I'll just have to do my best and get it done.

Ironically, I've been sitting her for hours watching NASCAR. It's not making me anxious at all to see them racing. I wish I could trust in my car the way they trust in theirs. Sigh.