Tired of it all today

I'm feeling really down today. Even if the doctor figures out what's wrong with me (hormones, adrenals, Lyme, thyroid, blah, blah, blah) the treatment for all of them seems so complicated. The more I read on facebook groups the less I want to know what's wrong. So many people feel worse by treating their illness. At least now I know I'm going to feel crappy. Why take hormone replacement or supplements or whatever and have it wreak havoc with my system? It doesn't seem worth the risk. I see Shellie in 9 days and I'm not even sure now that I want to ask her to run anymore tests. The only one I think I will do, because it's an at home test, is the A1AT deficiency test since I have a genetic marker for that one. I don't think I'm A1AT deficient but I'd like to know that for sure. I don't think that getting tested for Lyme Disease 25 years after I had been treated for it makes any sense even though a doctor recommended it. Adrenal fatigue isn't an illness even though a lot of people treat for it. There's no real way to test for adrenal fatigue. The tests they do are for adrenal disease, which I apparently don't have at this point. It's all so frustrating to me. I know I am fatigued, in pain, can't tolerate cold, am losing my hair and have trouble breathing but there's no labs that tell me why. I am B12 and Vitamin D deficient but I don't know if that accounts for what is going on with me. I guess I could talk to Shellie about that. I'm just feeling like it's all pointless today. Shellie isn't going to be able to do anything for me and I don't want to spend a ton of money on stuff that insurance won't cover (like supplements or BHRT). I can't afford it anyway. Frustrated and dejected.

I got all the fruits and veggies at Sprouts and haven't juiced any yet. I have eaten a few pieces of fruit but not enough to make a difference. I just feel like it's pointless. I lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks juicing and gained it all back when I stopped juicing. I don't think I could do a 60 juice fast like Joe Cross did. In fact, I know I couldn't, mostly because David wouldn't be able to because of his diabetes. Doing it alone would be too difficult. I don't know what to do. I'm sick of getting tests done only to have the results come back negative. I don't want to have anything wrong with me but something is causing these symptoms. There are so many people out there with the same symptoms and everyone thinks it's something different causing it (adrenals, thyroid, pituitary, hormones, Lyme Disease, etc.). How is a person supposed to figure it out especially when there aren't any specific tests for all of these syndromes? Sometimes, like today, I think that if I just stopped thinking about it and got on with my life I'd be fine but I feel bad whether I want to or not. Just not thinking about it doesn't change it. This pity party I'm having today isn't helping me either. Nothing helps.

So where do I go from here? I could ask Shellie what she would do if she were me but I'm afraid to hear her answer. I think that mostly she is just humouring me. I mean, I don't think she's running the tests for no reason, she knows I'm not feeling good but really, a year into it and I still don't know much of anything. Nowhere is where I go from here. At least for today. I'm still waiting on test results but don't think they will show much beyond the vitamin deficiencies. I'm not taking any supplements for them right now because I want the test results before I treat for anything. I was hoping Shellie would have called me by now but I may just have to wait until I see her on the 9th. I'm getting tired of waiting for test results and doctor's appointments. I'm just sick of it today.

Shopping for fruits and veggies is fun!

I got up early this morning and went to Sprouts to load myself up with fruits, veggies and nuts. I felt better just doing that. I'm not hungry though so I haven't really eaten anything today besides some walnuts. Tomorrow I will start juicing again. I also was able to get to the pet store to get food for Bayou. Great accomplishments considering how bad I feel.

I had my phone conference with Dr. Nancy Mullan this morning. She spent about 25 minutes with me. She suggested some testing and finding a doctor who can help me. I'd hate to not see Shellie but I do need someone who can actually do something besides order tests. One of the tests Dr. Mullan suggested was a Lyme Disease test by IGeneX labs. I contacted them today and they are sending me a kit in the mail tomorrow. I was treated for Lyme Disease about 25 years ago. I was on an antibiotic for a while but then never really followed up on it. I hope Shellie will humor me and have blood drawn for the test. If she doesn't I don't know what I will do. Dr. Mullan also said I should get a serum Lithium test done. I'll ask Shellie about that and the FT3, RT3 and TgAB thyroid tests. I've already been looking for doctors who treat alternatively. I found a couple here in town who both take my insurance. I need someone like Shellie who will work with me but can then know what to do to treat me. I'm just kind of tired of the whole thing today. I don't want to give up because I have to feel better but I'm just too exhausted to keep up this mental pace.

At least I got to the store today.

Still ill

I'm eating poorly, I'm not sleeping well and I'm tired and sore. I've been doing a lot of research and lab results organizing which isn't really helping me right now. I'm still waiting on test results from the 18th. It could be another week before I hear anything so I have to be patient. But I don't want to be patient. I want answers now. I'm not doing myself any favors by the way I'm eating so I've gained back all the weight I lost. I need to get back to juicing and a plant based diet but I'm so fatigued that  thinking of doing that exhausts me even more. I'm going to do it though, whether I like it or not. It's what is best for me. Not eating or eating just junk isn't good. In fact, it's terrible. I can feel the poisons I'm putting in my body. I need to get good fruits and veggies and nuts and seeds in my body again. Tonight I feel bloated and sick to my stomach. That's what I get for going off the food plan I was on. I'm not drinking any water either and that never helps. I'm very dehydrated. I can feel it in my feet of all places. They are cramping up. I'd like to go to the store tomorrow but may not make it until Friday. I have to get a shower, which right now exhausts me, and I have a 15 phone conference with a doctor in California at 10:30am. I've been getting up later because I feel bad again and it's going to be hot tomorrow so going out later in the morning won't work. I may just have to do it though because Bayou needs dog food. She'll be out by afternoon time tomorrow. And it's almost 1am and I just took my meds about a half hour ago so I won't be sleepy for probably another half hour. I'm just really treating myself poorly right now. I feel like I shouldn't ask anyone for help because I'm not willing to help myself. I have to be willing to make changes first. No one can do anything for me if I'm not going to jump in first. I'm getting more depressed with each passing day. And I know it's all due to the poor eating habits I'm back into. I better try to go to bed. I'm just depressing myself even more. Goodnight.

Overwhelmed with information

I've been doing a lot of reading about genetics, B12 deficiency, Paleo diet and test results. I'm trying to educate myself for my next appointment with Shellie. I watched a one and a half hour video today about the MTHFR gene and what happens when it doesn't work correctly. It was fascinating! I learned a lot even though there were some things I did not understand at all. I tried to focus on the B12 stuff this time around and what the protocol is for dealing with the issues I'm dealing with. One of the things that really stuck out for me was that I have to get protein in my diet. I'm going to check into the Paleo diet more and see if it is something that I could sustain. My eating hasn't been great the last couple of days because I'm not all that hungry. In fact, I don't think I've had anything at all to eat yet today and it's almost 2:30pm. That's not good. I have to get back on track with my eating as soon as possible. It's hard though because I am so tired and have absolutely no energy. It's hard to stand for very long. I think I will make myself a turkey and cheese bagel though just so I have something. I'm running low on a lot of things but don't have the energy to go to the store today. I'll try to go in the morning. I guess a banana would be good to eat too. Just something to get some food in my stomach. I'm not strong enough right now to make a juice. It takes too much energy to get all the fruits and veggies ready and then stand there and juice it all. Even though it only takes about 10 minutes total I just can't do it today. That's how bad I'm feeling. I'm anxious to get my test results back from Shellie. I want to know what my B12 and D3 are doing along with the hormones she is testing. I won't be surprised if it all comes back normal though. I made a complimentary 15 minute appointment with a doctor in California. I don't know what she can tell me in 15 minutes but I'm happy to talk to her. Her consult fee is really high so I don't know if I would follow up with her at this time (I'll have to save up for whomever I consult with) but I'm grateful that she gives out so much information and is willing to talk to me for 15 minutes. I'd like to see a genetics doctor through my insurance but I don't know that they would be of much help. I'll talk to Shellie about it and see what she thinks. I can always do my own consult with someone on the phone if a genetics doctor isn't in the cards. I'll just have to put money aside until I can afford it. It will have to be done eventually. But first I think I need to change my diet and wait on test results before I do anything. The video I watched cautioned everyone to not just start dumping supplements into your body all at once. There are steps to be taken first and then adding the supplements one at a time every three days. There is a lot to digest but I'm doing my best to understand and take it all in.

The cleaning lady is here right now so I'll wait until she leaves to get something to eat. I'm feeling kind of hungry right now which is good. I'll start with a banana and work my way up to a sandwich if I can. I have to do what is easy at this point because I'm so low on energy. I know if I eat better I will feel better but the paradox is that I don't have the get up and go to do anything. Mornings are better for me and since I only slept about 2 hours last night I'm even more tired than usual. I'll have to make a point of going to bed by 10pm tonight and not staying up all night doing research. I also put a binder together of all my lab results, genetic testing and symptoms. It's all in one place now. It will be easier to deal with that way. I can take it with me to my appointments if I need to but probably won't have a great need to do that this next time. I'll just bring the page that has my questions on it. Being organized is my thing and just knowing that I have that binder makes me feel better.

There are about 6 fires burning in Colorado right now and the smoke from some of them is reaching us in Colorado Springs. It's been hazy and smells like a campfire outside. It's irritating my throat and eyes. These fires will be burning for days or longer so there's not much relief in sight unless the wind blows in a different direction. I'm using the inhaler Shellie gave me but I'm not sure if it's helping or hurting. I'm going to ask on the STTM board if it is hurting me to use it. I don't think it's helping with the air hunger yet but I guess I won't know if I don't use it consistently. I won't use it though if people on the board say it can be harmful to someone in my situation.

Bayou has been in her kennel for almost 3 hours now. She's being so good today. I can't wait to let her out once the cleaning lady is done. I'm grateful to have someone clean the house though because there is no way I could do it. Just doing the dishes and laundry is plenty for me. And I have to be up by 8:30am tomorrow because the guy is coming to mow the lawn at 9am. David was thinking of going up to Denver with Gabe tomorrow but I don't think he'll end up doing that. I'd prefer that he stay home. He wouldn't have to leave until about 11am but I'd like him to be home with me tomorrow. I miss him when he is at work. I get lonely sometimes. Lynn didn't answer her phone so I haven't really had anyone to talk to and I have so much going on that I want to talk about. I'm sure she'll call me later when she gets up. I think she was up all night too.

That's it for now. The cleaning lady is almost done. David will be home soon too. He was going to look at some golf clubs after work (he got off at 1:30pm today because he went in very early). The pace will pick up a bit once Sharon is done and David gets home. It's not that I have to do a lot it just gets busy once Bayou is out of her kennel and wants to go in and out. Plus I need to do something for dinner. I'll probably just heat up leftovers for David and make a sandwich for myself. Okay, this is really it for now. LOL

Saw the PA today

I was nervous going in to see the PA today because I was so prepared (spreadsheet, requested tests, questions, etc.) but I should have known better. Shellie has been so cooperative and easy to work with in the past that I knew I could count on her. She appreciated my spreadsheet and me being so detailed. We went over all the tests I had written down and we discussed the ones I've already had and wouldn't need to repeat at this time. She did agree on redoing the B12 and Vitamin D test though since I have consistently been low on both and it's been 3 months since my last tests. She also agreed to look at the female hormones. We haven't tested those before and so she thought that would be appropriate. She also has a doctor in mind if I do have any issues. We talked about my 'air hunger' issue and she decided to give me an inhaler for 3-4 weeks to see if it helps. I've been wheezing once in awhile and she's hopeful it will help with that too. I got my blood drawn for the labs today and should have the results back within 2 weeks. I have an appointment to go back in 3 weeks to follow up on how effective the inhaler is with the 'air hunger' issue. Overall I feel the appointment went really well. Oh, and she also encouraged me to get Methyl B12 instead of using the tablets. I really felt like she listened to me and that she wants to help me figure out what is causing my fatigue, intolerance to cold, hair loss, lack of appetite, air hunger, etc. I don't want to get my hopes up too much that we'll find answers but I have to admit that I am feeling hopeful. If nothing else we can rule out some other issues.

I'm still very tired today. Just going to my doctor's appointment wore me out. I didn't get anything done around the house and certainly didn't get any grocery shopping done. I'm going to try to go to the grocery store tomorrow morning before it gets too hot or it rains. We're out of a lot of stuff so I have to go to the store. I made the sorbet last night without a banana and it was terrible. The banana gives it the right taste and consistency. Definitely have to get some bananas. I'll probably have to go to Sprout's and Target because I need some paper goods at Target and I need to get the Methyl B12 at Sprouts. Hopefully I can do both. Sprout's will be the priority though. Paper goods can wait until Thursday if I can't do both. If I get out there early enough I think I can do it.

I haven't juiced for 2 days now because standing at the counter is difficult. I'll try to get back to it tomorrow after I go to the store. I'll need a nutritious, refreshing juice once I get home.

So, it was an encouraging day even though I'm still feeling fatigued. That's it for now.

Feeling ill again

The last few days, even though I've been trying to eat well, I have been feeling sick again. I am fatigued, lethargic, cold, anxious, feel like I'm gasping for air at times and sleeping a lot more. I have trouble getting to sleep at night sometimes. Other nights I fight through sleepiness to get to bed without falling down. I feel off balance too. I do see the PA tomorrow morning so that's good timing. Oh and my appetite is waning again. I've put my significant labs in a spreadsheet for her to look at (I know, I'm such a geek and have too much time on my hands). I'm going to discuss some additional testing with her. I don't know which of the tests she will want to do, if any. I trust her judgement and will go along with whatever she wants to do (or not do). I'm tired of thinking of all this stuff and don't think they'll find anything through routine testing anyway. I never know when I'm going to feel this bad so it's very difficult to plan anything. Just walking around the house tires me out and hurts. My legs are sore again but not as bad as they were just a few days ago. I'm anxious to see Shellie tomorrow and see if she is just as stumped as Dr. Koren or if she would be willing to do some more testing. I'm not due for another CT scan until August to check on the benign growth on my adrenal gland. I want to keep an eye on it though since it did grow a small amount from December to February. Something is causing me to feel this way and I wish I could figure out what it is but testing is not really leading me anywhere at this point.

I did do some genetic testing on my own through 23andMe. I haven't decided yet if I will pursue researching it or not. It's very complicated and I'm not sure if it would help anyway. I think I'm just tired overall of looking through test results and trying to learn what it all means. I do know that I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. My B12 and D are consistently low for the past year at least. I'm sure that has something to do with how I'm feeling. I've been reading about B12 supplements and think there may be something more effective to take than B12 tablets. They haven't helped at all. There is a supplement called Methylcobalamin B12 (methylated B12) that are sublingual lozenges. They might be more helpful but I want to check with Shellie before I make any changes. I think the D3 I'm taking is okay though. I'll have to ask on the adrenal board I'm a part of to check on that for sure though. From the small amount that I could understand of the genetic testing it looks like B12 and D problems are an issue for me but I don't understand the testing well enough to know for sure.

I did ask about getting consults for the genetic testing and just to get additional info is $50. A consult with a doctor is $250 (which I can't afford). I don't think insurance will pay for that but I'm not sure. I'll have to check into that too. I may do the $50 consult though so I can get some more understanding and learn how to research my results.

Just want to be clear...

It is totally my fault that I couldn't continue doing a full on juice fast. The fast is totally doable and a great idea and like I said, I will do one in the future. If I could make myself drink enough water and juice I would have been okay. Because I have such a low appetite I couldn't make myself do it though. So I'm going to juice once a day and eat whole foods the rest of the time (which won't be much because I don't have much of an appetite). I have seens lots of people on videos and read testimonials of people who have successfully completed juice fasts. I think Joe Cross has the right idea and still recommend the movie, "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" and his website, rebootwithjoe.com. Remember to talk to your doctor before doing a juice fast and get some basic lab work done. Also be cautious. If you have health issues and start the fast even with a doctor's approval and start feeling weak and sick then it's time to reconsider for now like I've done. I'll check with my PA again once I get my lab results and see if a juice fast is in my immediate future. I look forward to doing a juice fast. Most of the juices I made were delicious and lots of nutrition. I just wasn't getting enough. So, I just wanted to be clear that I'm not against a juice fast and in fact recommend it if you are healthy enough. I just happen to still be having too many issues to continue at this time. I'll still try to keep posting when I do make a juice and continue to post about my health issues and (hopeful) weight loss. Until next time, keep on juicing!

Broke my juice fast (*sad face*)

I felt so weak yesterday that I almost passed out. I'm not drinking enough water or juice. I can't make myself eat/drink a lot right now. So I broke my "fast" and had some turkey and cheese and some eggs last night. Today I had an egg again. I'm sad that I don't have enough of an appetite to do a juice fast at this point. If I could drink enough water and drink at least 3-4 juices a day I would probably be okay but I'm just not able to do it. I'm going to try to keep having at least one juice a day but supplement with some whole foods (fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds, and protein). Fifteen pounds was a lot for me to lose in 2 weeks time. It's not a bad thing but because I'm not drinking enough it just made me too weak. My whole body was shaking yesterday. Taking a shower was a huge task. I kept having to rest. I feel much better today though. Just a little bit of whole foods makes a big difference. I don't feel shaky at all tonight nor near as weak as yesterday. I can't trust myself to drink enough water so I can't do a juice fast. I think part of the problem is whatever has been ailing me this past year. I've had these issues before but would just make myself eat something and drink more water and I would feel better. Having a very low appetite is difficult to deal with. I have to say though that eating tonight felt good and tasted good. I was being stubborn about not breaking my fast but realized that if wasn't healthy to feel the way I felt and that there is no shame in doing the right thing. I guess I was afraid of disappointing everyone by 'quitting'. I'm not forsaking eating well I'm just doing what will be healthy for me.

I did make an appointment with my Physician's Assistant on next Tuesday. I've done some research and got some help on a patient to patient board about what tests I should request next. I'm not expecting any of them to be out of the optimal range but think it would be a good idea just to check to be sure. The geek in me put all my lab work from the past 8 months on a spreadsheet so I could see what tests have been repeated and which ones were out of the optimal range. I was surprised at how many there were. I think once I show that to the PA she'll understand why I'm wanted to have further testing done. I really think the problems I'm having are due to adrenal gland issues. I don't think I have any specific disease (which is my my tests aren't showing anything) but have sluggish adrenals. That can wreak havoc on a body. I don't know if the tests I'm asking for will show anything but I'll feel better knowing I've had all the tests I should have considering the symptoms I'm having.

I still have some research to do to find out what some of the tests are even testing for but multiple abnormal results have me wanting to just get a baseline of everything right now. I just hope my PA will work with me. She's been pretty good about requesting tests but I've never really gone in asking for tests before. I guess there is a possibility I will have to do some now and some later just because of the number of tests but I would think that it would be possible to get them all done at one time. I don't know how many tubes of blood will be involved but I'm sure it will be a few. I wouldn't even ask for them if I wasn't still having multiple symptoms (fatigue, loss of appetite, anxiety, intolerance to cold and heat, weakness, shaking, palpitations, etc.). I have decided that once I get this round of testing done if nothing shows up I'll stop pursuing testing. I'll just wait until my next physical (October I think) and see how I'm doing then. That will be when I'm due for another CT scan of my adrenal glands to check the activity of the benign growth on my left adrenal gland. I'm just going to have to continue with eating a good diet and when I'm able to, walking and hiking. But for today I'm still tired just doing things around the house. If I can keep up with the house I'll be doing good. The kitchen really needs a clean up so I'll try to get to that tomorrow.

We're still going out to lunch on Saturday. I have a feeling that if I eat anything too heavy my stomach will bear the brunt of it so I'm going to be careful. It does feel good though to have a little more energy and stamina by eating some whole foods. I guess two days is better than no days of a juice fast. Once I'm feeling a little bit better and after my next round of testing I will try a juice fast again. If I have the same side effects I'll know to quit right away but hopefully it will work out next time. I haven't had a juice yet today and miss it. Weird, huh? I will have some sorbet in a little bit though. I'll start my day off tomorrow with a nice juice and go from there.

I've tried all kinds of tricks to get myself to drink water but nothing seems to work. I know that's part of my problem. I'm also B12 and D deficient and haven't been taking my supplements. That doesn't help either. I'll start taking them again tonight after I eat my sorbet.

I'll be asking my PA about doing 21 different tests. Yikes! I'm nervous about even asking. Hopefully I'll have the courage to do it. All she can do is say no. I won't be any worse off than I am right now. I'm just looking for information at this point. I don't think there is anything the doctor's will be able to do but there are some suggested supplements for certain issues. I will discuss all of them with my PA once I get test results back.

The fire is still burning north of us but seems to have settled down some today due to cooperating weather. Two families we know have lost their homes. Two people have died in the fire. Over 360 homes have been lost. It's such a tragedy. There's also a fire burning about an hour and a half from us at a park we have visited many times, Royal Gorge Bridge and Park. 48 of 52 buildings at the park were destroyed. They are promising to rebuild though. We will visit there again.

That's about it for now. Just looking forward to Tuesday now.

Smoke and haze

Pictures I took this morning of the smoky haze that moved in overnight. Air quality is very poor. It smells like a campfire in the house. I turned off the AC for now so it won't draw in more smoke. Still have a doctor's appointment at 1:30pm. Hopefully the air will clear some by then.

Wildfire close by

This picture was taken by Gabe from our driveway looking north to The Black Forest. The big building in the front is our clubhouse. The fire is about 10 miles from here at this point.

Depending on what happens weather wise overnight, I'll probably get stuff organized just in case we have to evacuate. It's not coming in our direction at this point (south) but moving east. But tomorrow is another high fire danger day so you can't take anything for granted.

I didn't have another juice today but I did make one for David. I made a salad for him and Gabe for dinner. Gabe was over helping David work on the Jeep. I did have a banana. I'm not feeling well at all and don't think I can do just juice because I am not getting enough calories or nutrients by only having one or two a day. My appetite is low and I can't make myself eat/drink. I'm feeling very weak, low energy and my whole body feels uncomfortable (don't know how else to describe it). I don't think a straight out juice fast is for me. I think having a juice once or twice a day in addition to other healthy foods would be a better plan.

So, in the morning I'm going to take my shower, run over to Sprouts and get some eggs and scramble some up for breakfast to get some food/protein in me. I might have more eggs for lunch. The I have to leave a little after 1pm to be at my 1:30pm appointment with Dr. Koren to get the results of my 24 hour urine test. It's going to be really hot again tomorrow so I'll be in the house with the AC on as much as I can.

I already took my evening medicine and I'm getting sleepy. I'll be focused on this fire since it is so close. I'll spend some time finding things we would need to take if we evacuated. I'll make a list and have stuff ready just in case. I don't want to be caught off guard regarding the fire.

Have a good evening.

Feeling puny today

My stomach is bothering me today and I'm spending an awful lot of time in the bathroom. I know this is to be expected when doing a juice fast so I'm not concerned just annoyed. I liked not having stomach problems. On the good side, I can tell I'm more hydrated than I've ever been. When I pinch the skin between my thumb and forefinger it doesn't "tent" up like it did just days ago. It goes right back in place. (A doctor told us about that being a sign of dehydration.) So that's encouraging.

I did take another nap for about an hour. I'm just dragging. I don't think it's because of the juice/raw food diet. I think it's whatever has been going on with me for the last year or so. I woke up shivering after my nap. I do have the AC on but it's 96 degrees out. I shouldn't be shivering. This is how I felt last year through this February. I forgot just how bad the fatigue was. I do remember sleeping alot and not being able to do much of anything. I hate being back to that again. I think a contributing factor is allergies. My seasonal allergies are really bad. This hot, dry weather makes it even worse. My eyes are watering and itchy. It's miserable. I heard on videos that I watched that some people were helped with their allergies by doing a juice fast. I hope that holds true for me. Allergy medicine just makes me more tired so I've been trying not to take any but I think I've reached the point today that I'll have to take it. No pain medicine so far today though. I've been able to tolerate the leg pain. I'm sure by tonight I'll need to take some. I can only take so much pain.

My stomach has calmed down a bit. I just feel really full right now. I don't think I could drink another juice for a few hours at least. I don't know how some people drink 4-5 juices a day. I'd float away. I did lose another half a pound when I weighed myself this morning. I'll be interested to see if they weigh me at the doctor's office how much weight I've lost since I was in there on 5/28. It will be a little over 2 weeks time since my last visit. I'm sure it will show I've lost at least 10 pounds. The first 10 pounds is always easy because it's just water weight. After that is when the real weight comes off. I have a ways to go but I'm looking forward to every pound I lose.

That's about it for now. I'm pretty sure I'll be taking another nap later this afternoon. Still have shirts to hang up and dishes to put away and sheets to wash and dry. It can all wait until tomorrow though if I don't get it done today. Later.

Today's first drink

The juice I made this morning came out a beautiful orange color and tastes delicious. I cored the apple today to avoid the small amount of cyanide in the seeds and peeled the orange to avoid the bitterness that it causes. The juice came out even better than before. I just a read a book yesterday that said to avoid the apple seeds and orange peel so that's why I did it. The book is called "The Everything Juicing Book". It has a lot of recipes in it and tells what they are for (shiny hair, backaches, energy, etc.). It was a quick read and very informative. I got the Kindle version for PC on amazon.

I napped longer than I thought I would this morning and didn't wake up until almost 11am!! So this will be my brunch drink because it was too late for breakfast and not yet time for lunch. Though it is noon now so I guess the last half of the glass will be my lunch.

It was more of an effort to juice today. It took more time since I cored the apple and peeled the orange but mostly it took time because I kept having to stop to rest. I know making an eating change like I've done can cause fatigue but I didn't expect to be this low on energy. The juice usually gives me a little boost so I'm looking forward to that.

It's 91 degrees out now and very windy. The fire danger is EXTREME. It's very hazy out. One report said that could be from fires down in Arizona and New Mexico. I'm staying in the nice air conditioned house. I have to go out in it tomorrow though for my follow up appointment with Dr. Koren at 1:30pm. I'll get the results of my 24 hour urine test then. I think that like most of my tests it will be anti-climatic results (meaning it will come back in the normal range). It's just a 15 minute appointment but I have to be there 15 minutes early to check in. Hopefully there won't be an hour wait like there was last time. That was brutal. I don't think I could endure that tomorrow if I feel the way I do today.

My legs are getting sore. It's my right knee in particular that is bothering me today. It hurts on the inside of my leg. I know that the healthier that I eat and the more weight I lose the less pain I'll be in.

I'm ready for another nap. Bayou is already taking one. Smart dog.

Even though...

I have no energy and I'm very tired I went to the store this morning. I was at Sprouts by 8am and home before 9am. I only had to pick up a few things. I put everything away already too. I need to make a morning juice but I'm just too tired to do it right now. My morning medicine isn't helping any either. I'll probably go lie down in a few minutes and then make a juice when I get up. I'm glad I went to the store early though because it's already very hot out. The heat zaps my energy too. Thankfully the AC is on and it's cool in the house (about 77 degrees). After I had gone to the store David texted me and asked me to get some kiwi, cantaloupe, melon and mango. I told him I'd get it tomorrow. I have no energy to do it today. The only things I want to do today is make my juices, hang up some shirts and empty the dishwasher so I can start filling it up again. Juice has to come first though because I am running on fumes this morning. There's nothing left in the tank. Just sitting and holding my head up is energy consuming. And that's no joke. I'm being totally serious. I don't think I've ever felt this low on energy. All I can do is sit or lie down.

Yesterday wasn't the greatest day for me. I did have some nuts and stuff in the evening because I was feeling so bad mentally and physically. I'm going to try to just do juice today but I'll do what I have to do to keep myself from feeling so faint. I'll just do the best I can today keeping in mind how low my energy level is.

I haven't had a chance to talk with David yet because he went to bed so early last night. Maybe he'll be up to talking today when he gets home. I've got to figure out what he wants to do as far as juicing and eating.

Can't keep my eyes open. Time for a nap.

A late dinner

I had the rest of the juice from lunch for a late dinner. It was nice and cold. It didn't need any ice. It was delicious. I'm glad that I drank that instead of ordering a pizza. Yes, I thought about ordering a pizza from Borriello Brothers. But I didn't. I drank my juice instead. And I enjoyed it.

I can go to bed happy now. :-)

That's about it

David's gone to bed. It's 6:30pm. That is all.

Very confused right now

David got home just before 3pm and I tried talking to him but he just seemed angry and annoyed that I was asking questions. I made him a big salad for dinner with 2 slices of turkey and 1 slice of american cheese. Maybe he'll feel more like talking after he eats and his belly is full. I'm still full from my lunch juice so haven't had any dinner juice yet. It's 4:20pm and I probably won't have any until at least 5pm. I did some reading about juicing and there are a few things I learned (apple seeds have cyanide in them, you shouldn't juice orange rinds). Reading also made me think twice about doing a juice fast without seeing my doctor more frequently. I can't really do that so I'm not sure if doing juice only is a good idea. I think I felt better when I was adding in a little protein and cheese to my diet along with the nuts and seeds. Am I just wanting to give up or should I really be concerned about doing juice only? What I've read about juicing and diabetes definitely has me rethinking what David should do. I guess I didn't do nearly enough research about juicing before I started. I don't think I screwed up I just think that I need more information before I continue. I really don't want to go back to all the junk food now that I've been eating healthier but I could add in some foods that wouldn't hurt (like eggs, meat and cheese). I don't want to be on a diet, I want a lifestyle that I can maintain for the long run. Juice only is not sustainable so maybe I shouldn't do it. I'll still try to juice once every day but maybe back off on having juice only. I feel like a failure already for thinking of giving up on this but if it's not the healthiest thing for David and I it would be the best thing to do. I really did it because David wanted to do it. I'm not saying I will trash the whole thing, afterall I did buy the juicer and all the fruits and veggies and have an investment in this. Keeping with the fruits, veggies, nuts and seeds and adding in eggs, lean meats and cheese might be more sustainable for me and definitely for David. Man, I am just so confused that I don't know what to think. I honestly can't do this if David isn't doing the same thing. Not because I can't do it myself but I have to take care of David and I can't be preparing all these different things for both of us.

I'm going to try to talk to David again and see what he wants to do. I know it will involve making lunch for him and making dinner too. If I'm going to do that I'm going to do that for both of us. I'm already thinking about how much I'm spending on food right now and how many times I'm having to go to the store. Gosh, I hate this. David's lack of enthusiasm rubs off on me. I wish it wasn't like that but it is. I have to be realistic. I can't do it on my own. That's just the way it is.

I could still shop at Sprouts because they have eggs and meat and cheese there along with milk. I don't know what I'm going to do. Maybe I'll just change things and not even ask David about it. He'll eat whatever I make for him anyway. I have to say this is the last time I will listen to him about changing the way we eat. He has good intentions but I spend a lot of time doing it and then he loses interest and I'm up a creek. I feel like I'm letting everyone down. Ten days into this and we're having all these problems. I guess I should get some lab work done too to make sure I haven't done any harm. I'm vitamin D and B12 deficient and have to really watch that. Maybe I'll schedule an appointment with Shellie after I see the specialist on Wednesday. That way I can talk to her about what he says and go from there.

I really don't want to talk to David about this because it will just get me upset. It's my job to shop and cook and prepare food so I should just do what I think is best for the 2 of us. I still have a lot of stuff to use for juicing and eating so I want to use that and not waste it but I also have to pick up a few things at the store so I will go to Sprouts tomorrow and get the stuff I need to transition to a more sustainable diet. I get too excited about things and go full bore instead of easing into things. There is no shame in doing the right thing. I don't want to spend any time being upset with David either so I'll do what I need to do for my marriage. Food isn't something that I should let get between us. If he can't do this, it's okay.  I can do anything. Anything healthier would be better than what I was doing.

Okay, I'm making myself crazy thinking about all this so I'm done for now.

David is having a hard day

David texted me and said he's really struggling today. He feels bad and his tremors are worse today. I didn't give him any juice for work so I'm not sure what's causing this. He should have had a veggie omelette for breakfast and a salad for lunch. Maybe he didn't eat lunch. He can't do that with his Type 2 Diabetes. I told him we would talk when he gets home to see what we need to do differently to make this work for him. I'm not expecting him to only do juice. In fact with his T2D it wouldn't be a good idea so I'm not sure what he's wanting or needing to do. I just know I can't afford to buy different foods for him and make meals for him that I'm not eating. I hope he's not wanting to give up on eating healthier. It irritates me a little bit that he's the one that was so adamant about doing this and talked me into it and now he's not really wanting to do it. I really don't want to have to prepare lunch and dinner for him and something separate for me for the long term. I don't mind doing while I'm doing a juice fast as long as it's easy and healthy to fix but I don't want to get into cooking and preparing tons of stuff every day. I like this plan because I only cook when I want to make some soup. Otherwise everything is raw. ~sigh~

I shouldn't be shocked because this is what usually happens. I am always hesitant to change anything because it doesn't last for both of us but David keeps on me until I look into it. I do all the research, preparation and shopping and he doesn't really help out much at all. Which is okay. I don't expect him to do all that stuff but I do expect him to give it more of a try than he has been. I know he works all day and that this is my job but it's hard to do when he's always struggling. He's been asking me constantly to look into Raw Food Rehab, a website that is all about eating raw, and I have now. He also wanted me to watch "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" and I did that too. I did all the research on the juicer and the plan and now he's struggling. I honestly don't know what to do. I know we'll talk this afternoon when he gets home about what he's having problems with and what he wants to do differently. I'm not going to figure this out for him though. He's going to have to tell me what he needs. I'll have to decide whether it's something I can do or not. I have very low energy at this point and have to push myself to get things done. Adding in preparing lunches or cooking dinners really isn't in my plan at this point. I guess I could do the lunch but I'm not going to be cooking food every day right now. I feel bad that I am complaining but I really am miffed about this turn of events.

David will be home in a little over an hour. We'll talk then and I'll figure out what to do to make this work.

Still drinking my lunch juice. It's really good. I made enough so David can have some when he gets home. If he doesn't want it I'll have it for dinner. Easy peasy.

Orange juice for lunch!

Here's the fruit and veggies I'll be putting in my lunch juice. One sweet potato, once carrot, 1/2 a big honey beet, a granny smith apple and an orange.

This is the Breville juicer all broken down after I washed it.

The rainbow of fruits and veggies that will be in my lunch juice.

The juicer ready to go. The bag is in the pulp container to make cleanup easier.

And here's the juice with some ice in it. It is delicious!

Progress

I have the dishes going in the dishwasher. I pulled the blankets off the bed and am washing them now. I pulled the sheets off too and they will go in the washer next. I have a lot of clothes in the dryer that I'm dewrinkling and will have to put away. There are lots of shirts to hang up. But I've got things going. It only took about 10 minutes to get that all going. I'll put away the clothes and make the bed in a little while. I may have to have David help me with hanging up shirts and making the bed but I'll try to do it on my own first. Bayou is laying on the floor all crooked like she does. It's warm out and she's resting a lot today. Just like me, except I'm not all crooked. LOL

It feels good to be getting stuff done. Because Bayou lays on the blankets they get dirty faster so it was definitely time to wash them. I'm amazed again that I have appliances running while I am home alone. I still have a little anxiety about it but I was able to push through that easily and start the washer and dishwasher.

Probably in about 45 minutes I'll make another juice. I'll make an orange juice. I might use that Recipe #2 from the fitlife.tv sheet I printed out or do the orange one from the 5 day Reboot from Joe Cross. I'll have to see what I have before I decide. I will definitely need to go to the store in the morning to get more fruit. I also need to pick up a couple other things so a trip to Target might be in order too. Or maybe I'll stop at Walgreens and see if I can pick up what I need there. That way it won't take as long.

I did do some artwork yesterday. I've been working on this project since 6/15/09! Yes, I started it four years ago. I'm going to try to finish it this week. I'll work on it again later today.

I'll fill up the whole page with color. It will be worth framing when it's done. I haven't done anything creative for years. I'm glad I'm getting back into my art work. I'm thinking it's a side benefit from changing my diet. Mentally I'm ready to do it and since I'm not using my hands for eating all day I have to do something. This is a good alternative.

Well, the dryer beeped. I should try to put some stuff away. More later.

Check with your doctor before doing this type of juice fast

Everyone should check with their doctor prior to doing a fast like this. I had seen my doctor multiple times before doing this and had a plethora of lab tests done. All my tests came back okay and my doctor suggested (many times!) that I eat a healthier diet and lay off the soda and candy. So that's what I'm doing. My doctor did not prescribe this juice fast/plant based diet. I did the research and decided it was what I wanted to do. I watched a lot of videos and testimonials about doing a juice fast and eating mainly f&v, nuts and seeds to help lose weight and get my system toxin free. I have only noticed positive changes so far (no stomach issues, no acid reflux, I am going to the bathroom regularly). I'm still low on energy but it's not because I'm eating/drinking this way. I've been sick for about a year now with low energy, intolerance to cold and heat, low or no appetite and a list of other things. I've been tested for all kinds of things and nothing really sticks out to point to a problem. I do have a benign growth on one of my adrenal glands and saw an endocrinologist 2 weeks ago about that and the other issues I'm dealing with. I'm not due for another CT scan for at least 2 months. I did do a 24 hour urine test and will get those results on Wednesday. I'm pretty sure they will come back normal though. I think I just was a victim of my poor eating habits. You can't feel good if all you are ingesting is soda, candy and chips and ice cream. Now I'm eating/drinking just fruits and veggies along with nuts and seeds when I'm eating whole foods. That has to be better for me than what I was doing.

So, please check with your doctor before doing a big dietary change and get some lab work done to make sure doing this is okay. Do a lot of research too. Investigate what you are going to be doing. Watch videos, testimonials and read articles. If you do something that makes you feel deprived and hungry all the time it probably won't work in the long run. I'm basically taking this a day at a time. Yes, I'm planning on a 5 day juice fast (today through Friday) but I'm focused on what is going on today. If I start feeling bad at any point, physically or mentally, and it is not something I was expecting, I will pull back and reevaluate. I know that doing a fast can make you feel 'bad' at first but I think that since I did about 9 days of f&v, nuts and seeds and some lean protein and cheese that going into a juice fast won't be hard. I had a headache for the first 3 days after quitting caffeine but that's behind me now. I'm still real low on energy and my legs are very sore from inflammation but that was happening way before I changed my diet. I think my dietary changes will improve both of those issues.

I just wanted to be clear that I didn't just do this overnight. I thought about it, researched it and got my lab work done. I didn't just jump in without thinking about it. I suggest that you do the same.

I have lost 13 pounds since I started this on June 1st. I expected to lose weight quickly at first (water weight) and have over 100 pounds to lose so I'm not putting myself in jeopardy health wise. I know the weight loss will slow down now and I'll be fine with that. I want to lose weight but more importantly I want to feel better, have more energy and have less pain. I want to be able to get off some of the medications I'm on and getting healthier is the only way to do that. I won't just stop taking meds. I will work with my doctors to see when and if I'm ready to discontinue/wean off medications. I will do it safely. I will not put myself in harms way. Everything will go through my doctors. I can't wait to see them so I can tell them how I'm doing and about the positive changes I'm experiencing. I know they will be happy that I'm not eating only junk food and have eliminated it completely from my diet at this point.

Again, check with your doctor or health care person before making an extreme dietary change. And do your research. You'll be glad you did.

Pear based juice for breakfast

I didn't get up until 9:30am today and didn't get my juicing done until 10:15am. I made a pear based juice. It had a gala apple, 2 anjou pears, 1 golden yam and a handful of blueberries. The blueberries didn't yield much juice. The pear was the overriding, though not overwhelming, taste of this juice. It wasn't my favorite but it was palatable. I like that orange juice so much that everything else pales in comparison. I think I'll make that for lunch. I feel full and don't have any cravings for whole foods. One third of a day down, four and two thirds days left. I can do this.

Still very low energy this morning and my legs are sore but not as sore as they were last night. I need to get some things done today but don't know if I'll have the energy to do them. I might just have to push myself even though I don't feel like I can do anything. After all I was able to make my juice and clean up afterward even though I didn't feel like doing it. So that's encouraging. Maybe it's one of those things where I don't feel it but I have to do it anyway. I'm really hoping that at the end of this 5 day fast/cleanse that I will have more energy and less pain and inflammation. I'm sure if it goes well and I feel better I might continue it for another 5 days and then just go from there. It will be harder I think when I'm preparing food for David but I still don't have much of an appetite so maybe it won't be as bad as I think it will be.

That 16 or so ounces of pear juice was very filling. I don't feel overfull though. It was just enough for me. I'll definitely make an orange juice for lunch. I'm running low on fruit though so I'll have to make a run to the store in the morning. Sprouts opens at 7am and I'll try to be there right after opening. It's going to be really hot the next few days so going early will be good. I don't want to be out in 90 degree weather hauling groceries.

It is a beautiful, warm day today. I have the front door open so I can smell the lilacs. They smell so good. I'll have to close the door soon though because it's getting warm and the AC is coming on. It doesn't make sense to have the door open letting the heat in if I'm going to have the AC on. But since it's going to get up in the 90's today I'll have to have the AC on.

I didn't take any pictures this morning. I was doing good just to get the juice made. I'll take some pictures this afternoon though when I make my orange juice. More later.

Five minutes to midnight

I woke up at 11:55pm to go to the bathroom. I knew I had 5 minutes until Monday and my juice fast started. So I grabbed a small handful of walnuts and devoured them in 5 minutes time. LOL Talk about desperate. Now I can relax though knowing that it's juice or nothing. I'm looking forward to making some juice when I get up in the morning. Usually I eat a banana when I get up but I won't be doing that for the next 5 days. It's funny how my mind works, needing to eat those walnuts. A five day juice fast will do me some good. I don't know how Joe Cross went 60 days doing it. I mean, I'd like to do 60 days myself but I don't think I could make it that long. Just doing 5 days seems like a long time. And I'd have to be making food for David that whole time. I don't think it would work but you never know what can happen.

I better get back to bed.

Winding down for the night

Breakfast juice. Check.
Bok Choy Soup for dinner. Check.
Sorbet for dessert. Check.
Prepared for a 5 day juice fast. Check!!

David is going to have his juice tomorrow once he gets home from work so I don't have to make one tonight. (*yippee*) I think when I make my breakfast juice tomorrow I'll make a double or triple batch so I only have to juice once during the day. Then I'll juice again when David gets home. I'll make him a salad for dinner in the early evening and I'll make a sorbet for him in the later evening. If I'm hungry I'll make some juice. No whole foods for me for the next 5 days. I'll have to remind myself not to have anything but juice. lol I can see myself getting some walnuts or carrots without thinking about it. I'll have to be careful.

I took my pain meds around 6pm and they took the edge off the pain but I'm still hurting. I took my sleep meds around 9pm so I should be getting sleepy anytime now. I'm looking forward to starting this fast tomorrow. I know I can do this. I just have to want it. I'm going for 5 days. I kind of hate that we have lunch plans at a Mexican restaurant on Saturday. I can always start again on Sunday if I'm up to it. I'm still thinking of getting a salad and putting some pico de gallo on it along with some chicken. I'd like to eat half of it and bring the other half home for dinner. I'll see how big it is though.

I'm getting loopy so I better end for tonight. Bedtime in about 15 minutes. Tomorrow is a brand new day. Let's get juicing!

Reboot Sweet Potato and Bok Choy Soup

I made this soup for dinner tonight. The recipe can be found on SparkRecipes. The only thing I didn't have was leeks but it was terrific without it. I have to be honest though, when I first put the bok choy in I didn't like the smell and thought it would be terrible but when I tasted it I really liked it. Since I'm going to try to do a juice fast the next 5 days I wanted my last meal of whole foods to be good. I was so afraid that it wouldn't be good but it was. Next time I would only use about half or a third of the bok choy though. It wasn't bad but I would just like the ratio of veggies to bok choy to be better.

You can see the soup before I put the bok choy in that's in the pan. You can see the sweet potato, carrots, celery, parsley, red potato (instead of leeks, I didn't have any) and red onion. I judge food on the aftertaste and this doesn't have a strong or bad aftertaste. It was just right. I did put in some thyme, salt and pepper. I think it was just the right amount for the batch I made. I'd say this was a success and I would give it a thumbs up. I'll make this again sometime.

The breakfast juice and the soup is the only things I've had today. I'll make a sorbet in a little while. I'm hoping I can do at least 3 juices a day for the next five days and no whole foods. I know I can do it if I put my mind to it. I start in the morning and will hopefully be able to do it through Friday.

I have really low energy again today and sore legs. I tried to take a nap but was too sore to sleep. I'm going to have to take some pain meds again today. I don't want to take the meds but I am really sore. I kept having to rest while making the soup and it didn't take that long to make.

David wasn't crazy about the soup but said I could make it again and he would eat it. I didn't know  he doesn't like sweet potatoes. I guess I could use a regular potato next time I make it. I'd be okay with that. It will probably be a while before a make it though just because I want to stay with raw foods as much as possible. The soup was pretty and tasted good but juicing and raw f&v is the way I want to go for now.

I better go take some medicine. I'm really hurting. I hope juicing will help with this.

Today's breakfast juice was a suggestion from a friend

Here are the ingredients and the recipe for the juice I made this morning - a handful of spinach, 2 carrots and 2 gala apples. It was very simple but delicious. Nancy Kelly Franks posted the recipes for me on facebook.

The recipes are from fitlife.tv. I used recipe #2 this morning. Here's the Breville at the ready. I put a plastic bag in the pulp chute to make it easier to clean up. Works like a charm.

I set the blender on low to juice the spinach then forgot to turn it on high for the carrots and apples. It juiced them just fine though and the juice came out much thinner and juice like. All the other juices I've done have been frothier, more air in them.

It made just enough to fill my glass with pure liquid sunshine.

It really was good. I liked the consistency and texture of it a lot. It really was a juice today. None of the tastes were overwhelming. It came out really good. Cleanup was a breeze as usual. It only took minutes to rinse everything off. All that's left to clean is my cup.

It wasn't even a struggle to make a juice this morning. I thought I would have to force myself because I'm home alone but I didn't. I really feel encouraged and supported by friends and family. Having Nancy post the recipes for me meant a lot to me. I'm glad people are willing to help me out with this new adventure.

I feel full from drinking that glass of juice. I don't think I'll be hungry for hours now. And it's a good full feeling not an "I over did it" kind of feeling.

My knees are really sore today. I took some pain medicine already this morning because they are hurting so much. The pain medicine is not helping much though. It makes me ready for a 5 day juice fast to see if it will help the pain and inflammation. I watched a video on youtube about a lady that was overweight like me and had pain and inflammation in her legs. She noticed a difference once she started juicing only. That makes me hopeful. I'm going to juice only started tomorrow and ending Friday. Then Saturday is the day we go to the Mexican restaurant. I'm pretty sure I'll get a salad with pico de gallo and some chicken. NO french fries or tortillas. I hope I can be strong once I get there. I have all my friends and family rallying around me so I should be able to do it. I'll promise to take a picture of whatever I eat and post it here and on facebook. That will keep me accountable. I know I can do this!

Just after 3am...

and why am I up? I feel slightly awake. I'm hoping that blogging will put me to sleep. I'm waking up at least once every night to go to the bathroom. A sign of aging. But once I get up I feel like I can't go back to bed right away because I'm too 'buzzed'. That I think is definitely a side effect of juicing and eating whole f&v. I'm yawning already though. Before I woke up I was dreaming/thinking about going out for Mexican food. In my dream I got a salad. Go me! I did read in "Wheat Belly" that going back to wheat after being off it for as short as a week can cause unpleasant side effects for days. I like not having an upset stomach or reflux so I don't know if it's worth the chance of making that come back. I already know that I have to come right home after lunch to be near the bathroom. That should tell me something right there. But I still think I'll make the stupid choice and have enchiladas and french fries. Sheesh! What a tool I can be.

It really is a struggle but I think I need that to gauge where I am with all this. Will I cave to social pressure and eat what everyone else is eating or will I want to show how invested in this I am by having something healthy? Or will I want to experiment by eating 'regular' food to see if it does have a negative effect on me? Am I hoping it will so I won't do it again or am I hoping it won't so I can cheat whenever I want to? Even though it's just a meal, it's a lot more than that. I hopefully will be coming off a 5 day juice fast on Friday. Instead of easing in to eating will I pile all that junk into my system the very next day? How smart would that be? Not too smart really. But sometimes I have to learn by doing and suffering. I could have a nice salad with pico de gallo on it (minus the jalapenos). That actually sounds good. I could even have some chicken on it. But I really do need to avoid the tortillas and tortilla chips. Having sopapillas is out of the question. I don't need that at all and can easily do without.

It's weird how emotionally tied to food that I am. I wasn't expecting that to go away in a weeks time but didn't realize how strong the pull to food would be either. It's kind of like I'm getting through these days just to get to that day when I can pig out on unhealthy food. Unhealthy food shouldn't be my reward for doing well because it will cause me nothing but grief. That's never stopped me before though. Yikes! I really do need to make a good choice when I go to that restaurant! But will I be strong enough to do that at just 2 weeks into this new way of eating? Time will tell.

I think I'm sleepy enough to go back to bed. My eyes are closing more often. lol I think I'm going to have to take a pain pill though because my legs are very sore. That will help me to sleep too. Goodnight yet again.

Nightly sorbet

Tonight's sorbet was banana, raspberry and cherry. It was delicious as usual. Before that David asked me to make him a lettuce wrap "sandwich". That was an easy dinner. lol I read the last chapter of "Wheat Belly" again. Dr. Davis is totally against wheat in any form. He does say that meat, eggs, cheese, dairy and oils are okay. After I do this for a couple weeks I may add in eggs. A nice veggie omelette sounds good to me. I'll have to see how I feel in another week. I did only have one juice today. David didn't have any today and didn't ask for one so I didn't make one. I should have made one anyway but it's too late for me now. I've gotten over David having pizza today. It doesn't even sound that good to me. Surprising, huh? I can't believe it either that I wouldn't want any but I'm really invested in this and want to do the best I can. I've made an investment financially, mentally and physically and don't want to undo what I've done this past week. I'm not hungry for pizza or craving pizza. I was jealous of David having pizza. There's no point in that. It won't do me any good to covet another's pizza. lol

David and Gabe are golfing in the morning at 9am. I'm going to have to make myself juice tomorrow morning. I also don't want to have turkey and cheese every day so I'm going to have to make a salad for lunch or juice again. I have a lot of greens to use and don't want to waste them so I need to juice. I think I'll make enough to put some in the fridge for David for the afternoon. I can always make him a lettuce wrap 'sandwich' if he's hungry for more than a juice. I'm kind of surprised that he isn't as into this as he appeared to be before we started. That's honestly not a shock though. He wants to change things but doesn't really want to do the work that it takes to be successful at it. I don't blame him though because it is hard to change things as drastically as we have. It would be easy to give up but like I said, I'm invested in this now. I want to do this for at least a month, two if possible and hopefully through the end of the summer. I think if I add eggs in at some point that will make it easier. I do crave something hot for a meal. I think I might make a bok choy soup tomorrow to help with that. I think I have everything to make it. I'll check the recipe and see if I do. Yes, I have everything but leeks. I can do without those I think. If not I can run to the store and get some. I need to use the bok choy though because it's starting to wither. I think I'll use a little less water than they recommend so it doesn't get waterlogged. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm still tired and sore. I think if I was juicing exclusively I would feel better by now but it looks like it will take longer if I'm eating whole foods. Maybe next week I'll try a 3-5 day juice fast and see how that goes. I think I'm only eating more whole foods is because David is. It's not his fault. I just have a hard time doing my own thing. If I have to have stuff in the house for him then I eat it too. I'm just weak that way. I'm not being mean to myself or putting myself down I'm just facing reality. David would be in the same place if the situation was reversed. It would be easier if we were totally doing this together but when I think about it that's not realistic. He works, I don't. I'm home most of the time and he's not. He has a more physical day than I do also. Plus, he's a guy and I'm not. lol There are lots of differences that make doing this together not easy. Mentally there are differences too. Once I put my mind to it and make it a project it's easier for me to do something. David is not wired that way. That's what makes us a great team though, our differences. I understand that we are different and value that so I'm not going to get upset if we aren't totally on the same page about what we eat. I just have to be strong enough to make good choices for myself. I know if I put my mind to it I can do it.

So, tomorrow is juice and bok choy soup. I'm going to stay away from the turkey and cheese. I think I'll so some artwork tomorrow too. It felt good to be creative like that. Laundry and dishes are caught up so I don't have to worry about that. All I have to do is put some clothes away that are in the dryer. I think I can get that done even at this low level of energy.

My legs are really sore today. My knees are particularly sore. I know all of this can be boring but I want to keep track of how I'm feeling physically and mentally so I can look back as things get better to remind myself why I'm doing this. Right now I can see that I've lost a little weight, don't have stomach upsets, don't have reflux but it hasn't helped with the inflammation at all. In time I know it will so I will be glad of the benefits I am getting. I've been thinking a lot about eating Mexican food next weekend. I'm not sure how that will effect my gastrointestinal tract. I'm sure I'll pay for doing it if I do. I could always have a salad and keep on track but like David today, being in a social situation and sayiing no to food might be very difficult. Too difficult. I'll just have to wait until then to see where I'm at with all of this and see what I want more - Mexican food or feeling good. I think that just the wheat ingestion alone will have a negative effect (tortilla chips, tortilla wrapped enchiladas, etc.). I'm sure the french fries I usually have will be very heavy on my stomach. See, I'm doing my best to talk myself out of eating outside the f/v, nuts and seeds genre. lol

Getting tired from the 6 nighttime meds that I take. Soon I'll have trouble keeping my eyes open. I don't want to be typing even more jabberwocky than I usually do. lol Time to quit for tonight. Hoping I do well tomorrow. Eight plus days in and I'm still at it. Woohoo!

Goodnight.

Hmmm...

David got home about an hour ago. I've been thinking since then about what he had for lunch. His boss bought the work crew pizza. Yes, pizza. And David ate some. I'm obviously not feeling good about that. I know it's really not my business what he eats but I thought we were trying to make changes. It makes it harder for me knowing he's having pizza and subs for lunches. I know I just shouldn't care and do what's best for me but I guess I'm not at that point yet. I'm not mad at him, just a tad miffed. I know I'm doing what I need to do though and he's doing what he needs to do. I guess I can understand how hard it would be to be around everyone eating pizza and not joining in. Eating is a social thing these days. I think I would have done the same thing. Maybe it's lucky for me that I'm doing this and spend most of my time at home. Just being out today made me think of eating all kinds of stuff that I don't have at home right now. Bread is at the top of that list. I nice, fresh piece of Italian bread would be really good but I just don't want to give in just a week or so into this. I can do this no matter what anybody else is doing. I guess I just felt let down. David was the one who wanted me to watch "Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead". He wanted me to get the juicer. He wanted to change the way we eat. Then he eats pizza while I'm having a juice and a lettuce wrap. I guess it makes me feel like I'm stupid for continuing this. I know I'm not but it's there in the back of my mind. I'm not going to let this get to me though. I'll continue doing what is right for me. It won't be easy but I'll keep on doing it.

I've been thinking of that book Dr. Fouss suggested I read, "Wheat Belly". I think I'll read it again and see what the difference is from what I'm doing now. I remember when I read it I thought that it would be impossible to give up all the stuff that it talked about but now I've basically done it so I think I should read it again. It will be an encouragement to me to remind myself why I'm doing this.

Time to wake David up from his nap and stop by the bookshelf and get "Wheat Belly".

Lunch

David called and he decided to stop off at the ball fields to watch our great niece play softball. I was hungry so I took some turkey slices, american cheese and put it inside a romaine lettuce leaf and had my lunch. I'll probably make the same thing for David when he gets home. I'll make 2 of them for him though. He'll be hungry from working all day. That is unless he gets something at the ball field to eat. I don't know if they have a concessions stand there of if there would be anything healthy but that's up to him. I'm surprised that I was hungry. Maybe the lack of appetite is over again. I've been thinking about food more today but I don't know if it's my appetite or that I was out today. Going by the convenience stores feeds my cravings for candy and soda. I'm just grateful that it's not bad enough that I actually succumb to it. I do want something sweet though so I might make a little sorbet for me. I'd like to wait on that until later but I'm not going to drive myself crazy thinking about sweets either.

The AC just kicked on so it must be getting warmer out. Yep, it's 78 degrees out. Bayou is out on the deck laying in the sun. I'm watching golf and resting from my trip to the store. I don't know when David will be home. I wish he was home now but he didn't want to drive all the way home and then drive back across town to the ball fields. I don't blame him. He was at work at 6am and sounds tired. I'm sure he probably had lunch with the guys at work today. I think the only thing I've been jealous of him eating was when he told me had had a turkey sub yesterday. I really would like some bread but I'm going to refrain for now. I want to do the best I can with eating healthy. Next Saturday I'll take a break for Mexican food then get right back to it. I usually only eat one of the three enchiladas when I'm at the restaurant and save the other two for later in the evening. I might give them to David too. I'll just have to see how heavier food sits on my stomach.

I'm pleased with myself that I made a juice earlier. I wasn't sure I'd get that done today because I'm home alone. Making some for Gabe to try was a good motivator. Good day so far.

Grocery shopping done

I went and did the grocery shopping. I got lettuce, carrots, turkey slices, american cheese, vinegar (for the yard not to eat!) and 2 flats of water. Oh and some salad dressing for David. I never use salad dressing. It's warm out but not overwhelmingly hot. I was able to do the shopping, get the groceries to the car and put them away when I got home. Now I'm resting. David should be home any time now. I'll make a salad for us in a little while. If he's not home yet when I make it I'll just put his in the fridge. Then I'll make a green juice later. And of course I'll make sorbet for dessert tonight. Dang, just thought that I should have got a watermelon. Oh well. I'll get it on the next trip. Gabe wants to go golfing with his dad in the morning. That's okay with me. I'll just sleep in then do laundry and dishes once I get up. There's a cool breeze today that's tempering the heat. I have the front door open and the fan on. I don't think the AC has come on yet today. It really is a gorgeous day and I'm glad I got out to enjoy it.

I spent another $39 at the store but that includes the vinegar and water. I still think it will be less or at least the same as what we were spending on less healthy food and runs for fast food and the convenience store.

I have to admit that today I'm thinking more about going out for Mexican food next Saturday. I know it's not the best thing I can eat but I'm craving it today. I want those chicken enchiladas and french fries dipped in enchilada sauce. Driving myself crazy thinking about it so I better get my mind off of it and think of my salad that's coming up later. I hope I can make a green juice that I like. I can't just depend on the orange juice. I have to get more veggies in the rotation. Less lemon will make a difference. I need to drink it whether I'm crazy about it or not.

Going out always makes me think more about junk food. Going by the candy aisle was hard today. I was in that area because the kitchen gadgets are over there and I was looking for a spiralizer to julienne veggies. I didn't find one but I didn't get any candy either. I'll probably order a spiralizer on amazon when I can afford one. Until then I'll just use a peeler. It will take more effort but it will get the job done until I can get a spiralizer.

Okay, I need to rest for a while. More later.

Orangey juice - yum!

I initially got up around 6am but felt tired so I went back to bed around 6:30am. I woke up at 8am and was still tired and then took my morning medicine which makes me sleepy so I went back to bed at 8:30am. Woke up at 10:30am. Gabe texted me and wanted to come by to pick up some yard rocks that have been sitting in the front yard. I told him to come on by. Somehow that motivated me to make a juice. I was making the juice when he got here so I gave him a taste. He said it was good. He is proud of us for doing this diet change. It's nice to have so much support. I made an orange juice - sweet potato, orange, carrot, apple and rutabaga. I drank more than a glass full. It was really good. Later today I'll try making a mean green again. I'll use less lemon than I did the first time though. I'll do that when David gets home. Then I'll make a salad for dinner. I need to run by the store but it's warm out and I'm not sure I'll get to it today. I'm not sure where I will go, either Sprouts or Target. I might wait to go when David gets home so I don't have to put Bayou in her kennel. She's outside right now.

I'm still feeling tired but I'm hoping that the orange juice will give me a boost. I'll at least wait until it settles in my stomach to go to the store. I don't want to end up having to run to the bathroom while I'm out. Not sure why I've been so tired the last few days. I guess it could be my body detoxifying. It may be taking longer to get to that point since we're not juicing 4-5 times a day. I look forward to not being so tired all the time though.

This coming week I see the endocrinologist on Wednesday to get the results of my 24 hour urine test. I'm sure everything will come back normal. Dietary change and moving more is what will help me in the long run. Even if he finds something I'm not willing to take a steroid or any other medication at this point. I already take a draw full of meds and I'm sick of that. I need the medication right now but I know I'll get to a point where I can get off some or all of the meds I'm on. That will save us a lot of money. Not going to the convenience store and not eating out multiple times a week will also save us money. Buying the f/v, nuts and seeds is expensive but I think overall it will be less than we were spending before on groceries, the convenience store and eating out.

That's it for now. More later.

I thought I was done for the night but...

David wanted some sorbet so I whipped up a quick batch of banana, cherry, blueberry. It was yummy. I made a smaller batch since it's almost 10pm and time for bed. I love how easy cleanup is and how fast it is to make the sorbet. I didn't mind doing it at all. Now I really am ready for bed though. See you tomorrow.

A salad for dinner

I went ahead and made the salad which ended up being good timing because David woke up just as I had finished making it. It was delicious. I forgot to put sunflower seeds and raisins in mine but it was still good. David couldn't finish all of his salad because he has an omelette for breakfast and a turkey sub for lunch and a full glass of orange juice I made when Lisa was here. Later we both had some watermelon for dessert.

I had about an hour of craving junk food this evening. I think it was because of all the commercials on TV for food. I never realized before how many commercials have food in them that are not advertising food places. It's amazing. Anyway, I'm over the cravings now that I'm full from my salad and the watermelon. I'm thinking about a Cherry Coke and Milky Way Bites but I'm not craving them. I'm just thinking. It's the time of night that I would be having that stuff. Luckily it's almost bedtime and hopefully I won't dream about food. lol

I really did have a great time with Lisa today. I wish I would have thought to take a picture but I didn't. What a surprise. lol It was so nice to share what we're doing with her. She's such a good friend.

David has to work tomorrow (Saturday) for most of the day so I'll be home alone again. I'll have to make myself eat and juice. He should be home by 3pm and maybe earlier than that but that have to clean 3 cooling towers and that will take the whole day. I need to be able to do this without him being here though since he works all week.

Okay, off to bed in a few minutes. More tomorrow.

A nap can do wonders

I took a one hour nap and feel better now. I fell asleep fast too. David is still napping. I'll get him up in about 40 minutes and then make a salad for dinner. I actually feel a bit hungry. I'll snack on some nuts to tide me over until dinner. My allergies are bad today. I'm trying not to take any allergy medicine but my eyes are watering so bad that I may have to whether I want to or not. I'm a bit sore today but not bad enough yet to take any medicine. I'll try to hold off on both until I absolutely need them.

Just had some walnuts and raisins. That will hold me over until I make a salad in half an hour. I'm glad that I don't have the voracious appetite that I had just weeks ago. I think that would have made this much more difficult. It will be interesting if my appetite comes back though. Hopefully I'll be far enough into doing this that I'll be okay.

Actually I think I'll make the salad now and just put David's in the fridge until he wakes up. I haven't had much to eat or drink today and I can kind of feel it. Yeah, that's the ticket. Later.

Awesome time with Lisa!

Lisa came over and we made an orange juice with kale, orange, apples, sweet potato, rutabaga (or whatever root vegetable it is) and carrot. It turned out really good. Lisa liked it too. We talked all about what David and I are doing and it was nice to have someone to share with who is excited for us. Before Lisa left we made a quick banana, raspberry, cherry sorbet. It was wonderful! I had such a great time hanging out with Lisa. I had enough juice left over to give David a glass full when he got home and I had half a glass. Very yummy. We'll have some watermelon in a little while and then I'll make a salad for dinner. I'll cut up a slice of turkey and a slice of cheese and put that on top of the salad. That will taste really good. It was so nice to be with someone and have such a fun time. I can't wait to have Lisa over again.

I'm still pretty tired today but was able to make the juice and sorbet and clean up too. The juice always give me a little boost. I'm ready for a nap now though. The Bruins are on tonight so I'll only nap for about an hour. More later.

Watercolor day

I pulled out the watercolors today and had a go at it. Not too bad for my first attempt in years.

David asked me last night not to make juice for him for work today. I was okay with that because it's less work for me. He had a veggie omelette for breakfast and was maybe going to have a salad for lunch. I had a banana and nuts this morning. When Lisa comes over I'll make some juice and sorbet. I'll make enough so David can have juice and sorbet when he gets home.

I still have low energy today. I don't feel as sore though. The rain clouds are moving in though so that could change.

Hello from Bayou!

Blender problems again

I made the sorbet again tonight and the blender blade came loose again. David took it out to the garage to really tighten it. Hopefully it will hold for more than 2 uses. If not I'll get a replacement (about $30). It's a $100+ blender so the replacement part would be worth it. Plus, it's red and I love it. lol I put banana, blueberries, cherries and pineapple in tonight's sorbet. It was yummy. The blender will at least work when Lisa is here tomorrow if she wants sorbet (and who wouldn't!?!).

Very sore tonight. Waiting until 8pm to take my medicine and having a hard time waiting (it's about 7:40pm now). I think I might take my pain medicine early and take my sleep meds later. That's a good idea (even if I say so myself).

David said tonight that he's really having a hard time with the lack of whole foods. He likes the juices but he just needs more calories per day. Me too. That may be why I'm so tired today. Getting off all the sugar and caffeine makes me feel depleted. I'm not going to go back to it though. I'll hang in there with juicing at least once a day and eating healthy the rest of the time. I think David will have to have more though while at work. Maybe he can have his juice in the afternoon with me. That would mean I don't have to juice every night for work the next day and it would encourage me to have a juice every day. I'll talk to David about it and we'll see what he wants to do. Have to use everything in the fridge though because I don't want anything to go to waste.

Chicago -1, LA - 1. More later.

Delicious salad for dinner

I made a really nice salad for dinner. I put a slice of turkey and cheese in it (chopped up). It was delicious. I'll make some sorbet in a little while. I hoped I'd feel better after the juice and salad but I'm still really tired. Hockey isn't on until 7pm tonight. I hope I can make it to the end of the game.

Finally made a juice

My dentist appointment went well. Nancy was glad to see me. When I got home I made an orange juice with sweet potato, carrot, rutabaga (or whatever root veggie it is), apple and an orange. It was pretty tasty. I'm getting the laundry done too. I'll make a salad later on for dinner. Still experiencing very low energy but hopefully the juice will help with that. I'm having cravings today and would really like to get a cheese steak and fries. I won't get them but I sure would like to. A salad will have to do for today. It's not easy eating just f/v, seeds and nuts but I'm doing it. It's been a week now that I've been doing it. So, not too bad. At least I've had a juice today. I'd like to follow the plan and just have juice but I'm not sure I can do that. I need to take in more though because I'm feeling way too tired and I don't like feeling this way. I'll try to have at least 2 juices tomorrow. More later.