I slept in today and didn't go for a walk because we had a long road trip planned for the day. We went from the Springs to Woodland Park, up to Deckers. From Deckers we went to Cheesman Reservoir where we stopped and had lunch. After lunch we continued on to Pine Junction, Jefferson and stopped at Jefferson Lake. We came out of Jefferson Lake and took the Tarryall Road through Park County. The road from Tarryall took us to Lake George. We took Highway 24 home from there. We missed most of the rain but could see that rain had fallen along the way. We did get out and walk around at a couple of stops. It felt good to stretch my legs.
I didn't do very well with my eating today. Breakfast was a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. I brought lunch for us (fruit, sandwiches) and found a perfect picnic stop at Cheesman Reservoir. I had a 100 calorie pack of cookies after lunch. I didn't realize we were going to be out for 7 hours and didn't bring anything for dinner. We ended up stopping at Wendy's. I got some asian chicken and fries. No pop though. David asked if I wanted to stop and I said 'yes'. No coersion necessary today. I wanted to eat fast food. Then when we got home I had some more cookies. Ugh! Oh well. There's always tomorrow.
I did do some thinking today about what I was trying to say yesterday and I finally figured it out. My thinking is VERY black and white. So when it comes to eating it's either no junk at all or failure. It's not realistic to think I'm going to go without treats once in a while. And it's okay to have a treat occaissionally. Not every day. Just once in a while. Living in that gray area is really hard for me. I see it as either success or failure and I need to see it as doing the best I can each day and that I can feel good for the progress I am making. So I didn't do my 40 minute morning walk but instead walked for shorter times throughout the day. That's okay. I didn't fail because it wasn't the Palmer Park walk this morning. I don't have to do a 40 minute walk every day. It's okay if some days it's 40 minutes total scattered throughout the day. The gray area.
I'm doing my best not to get on myself for not walking and not eating perfectly today. I hold myself to a standard that is so high that I can't possibly attain it. And I realize that I'm trying to hold David to that standard too. I always want to blame him for tempting me but it's my choice to walk or not walk and eat junk or not eat junk. I have to be able to take care of myself and do what's right for me no matter what anyone else is doing. This isn't about deprivation. I have to keep reminding myself of that. Somewhere in my brain I think that deprivation equals success. It doesn't though and I know that now.
Tomorrow the plan is for us to go over to Red Rock Canyon Open Space and go for a walk. I'm looking forward to doing that. I may sleep in again tomorrow and not beat myself up for doing it. I know that I'll get more walking in tomorrow. I just need to keep the standard realistic now.
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