The journey

It's a bit after 7pm and it's still 90 degrees out. Not exactly walking weather. This is why I need to walk in the morning and not count on getting an evening walk in while the weather is so hot.

I realize that I feel obliged to walk every day because I've told people that I'm walking. No one is asking anything of me though. It's just me expecting too much of myself. I guess I feel like if I don't go walking I'll feel like an idiot. I've said I'm going to make changes and now I have to keep to my word. Says who? I don't know. It's this thing I have in my head, this high standard. It makes me want to scream. It's the same thing with eating too. I feel like I've set up some kind of rule that I have to follow and when I don't follow it I feel bad. Why can't I just be happy with the progress that I'm making and the changes that I've made? Why do I expect perfection? I just don't know.

I'm worried that if I have a bad day I'll give up. And today was a bad day from my perspective. What can I take from today that would be helpful? How can I turn this negative around? I can't seem to find anything positive in the day today. The only thing I can think of that I did okay with today was drinking liquids. I'm getting better at staying hydrated. Maybe I can think of today as a hydration day. LOL

I've got to loosen up and chill out. It's not the end of the world if I didn't walk. It's not the end of the world if I didn't make all the right choices when eating today. It just feels like the end of the world. Seriously, it feels so bad because I didn't meet my own unrealistic expectations for the day. And instead of getting up out of my chair and doing something, I'm just sitting here blogging.

I know it's important for me to learn from every step in this journey even if every step doesn't feel great.