Last night I thought for sure that I wouldn't be motivated to go walking this morning but I did go walking. I got up around 6:30am, got dressed and was out the door. I wore sweats today instead of shorts which made it a warmer walk than usual. I was still able to do it in about 40 minutes though. Quite a few people and a lot of dogs up there this morning. It was a nice walk. I came home and had cereal for breakfast and then took a nap. Now I'm all showered and just waiting to leave for my appointment with Marianne.
I'm feeling a bit discouraged today. I put on a clean pair of jeans and they feel tight. Not super tight but I was hoping they'd be a little baggier than they are. All this walking isn't going to do me any good if I don't watch my eating. I'm sure I must have lost a couple of pounds but it doesn't feel like I've lost any weight at all. I was almost going to weigh myself today but decided to stick with not weighing until I see Dr. Fouss. In the mean time, I need to be changing the diet. The problem is that food doesn't appeal to me. I don't want to eat anything that is good for me. So I'm still eating snacky stuff (cereal, PB&J, cookies, crackers, etc.).
I spend all my time with Marianne talking about my relationship to other people when I should be concentrating on my relationship with myself. I've been distracting myself, throwing myself off course. My relationship with other people is important but it's not everything. I'm struggling with knowing who I am and what I want to do. I'm also having a hard time with trying to make all these changes so late in life. I may feel like a kid, but I'm 49 years old! Time is a wastin'. I want to make every day count. Walking helps me to do that.
Time for me to leave for my appointment.
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