David doesn't want to watch the ballgame because the Yankees are winning so we're watching "Wicked Attraction" a show about couples who do crimes together. I'm kind of bored so I'm blogging instead of eating. I'm not hungry but I could easily eat because I'm bored. I really don't want to do that even though I have the points left. I don't want to eat for the wrong reasons. If anything I'll just have a piece of fruit. And if that doesn't work I'll have another piece of fruit or some baby carrots. No eating junk because I'm bored. I had planned on having something later if I was hungry, probably an english muffin with butter and jelly, but I'm not hungry now so I won't have it until later.
It's difficult to deal with emotional eating. I know that instead of eating I need to figure out what I'm feeling. I don't have to fix it, I just have to see if I can figure out what I'm feeling. I think I'm feeling anxious because a neighbor came by to drop off some of our mail that they got in their mail box and we talked about being sick this past winter. She had the same thing going on that I did. Kind of weird if you ask me. It's called polymyalgia rheumatica (PMR). I had forgotten that I was diagnoses with that. I guess the fact that I didn't remember that made me feel anxious. Here's what the Mayo Clinic site has to say about it:
Polymyalgia rheumatica is an inflammatory disorder that causes muscle
pain and stiffness, primarily in your neck, shoulders, upper arms, hips
and thighs. Symptoms of polymyalgia rheumatica (pol-ee-my-AL-juh
roo-MA-ti-kah) usually begin quickly over a few days.
I think I'm worried because my knee/thigh still hurts and my hips are hurting tonight. I'm sure it's just an achy thing and not a flare up but it worries me because it stopped me cold from November until February. The steroid shot I got in my back helped with it so I know that steroids would help again if it flared up. I wouldn't wait so long to get the steroids like I did last winter. If I have trouble with my arms or if I have trouble walking again I'll get seen by a doctor right away.
Anyway, I have to remind myself that this weight loss journey is not about perfection but about doing the best I can. That doesn't mean I'll always make the right choice, it just means that I'll try to make a better decision each time I'm tempted by eating. A piece of fruit is a good choice if I just can't keep from eating for emotional reasons. So I guess I'll have an apple and then see how I feel.
More later.
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