Lazy day

I had a very lazy day today. I dropped Bayou off at daycare around 7am then came home and went back to bed until 12:30pm. I did get up a couple of times, once for breakfast, but mostly was in bed until after lunch time. I picked up Bayou around 2:30pm. After David I got home I went and got fast food for dinner. I had plenty of points to do so. I'll probably have an apple later (it's almost 6pm now). I'll go to the grocery store tomorrow. I didn't go to a WW meeting today so will possible go tomorrow morning. Ila does the Saturday morning meetings. I like her. I forgot to mention that Dori wasn't at the Wednesday night meeting again. Funny that it didn't make a big difference for me this time. She was having trouble breathing because of the smoke along the Front Range. Anne took her place. She did a great job with the meeting. She asked me to look up some information on Chili's restaurant for our meeting (this weeks topic is about eating out in our town). I was glad to be a part of the meeting.

I guess that the meeting has become more important than the meeting leader for me. That's a good thing. Dori still does a better job with the awards but since I wasn't expecting any I guess it wasn't a big deal. I'm hoping next week to be getting another 5 lb sticker but all the leaders give those out. I won't be at a new decade for a while so that's not a big deal. Even if Dori wasn't there for that one week I'd probably be able to get my sticker the following week.

I didn't walk today because I was too lazy. Plus my knee is really hurting from walking the other day. I don't know when I'll walk again. I never really plan it so it doesn't get done. I need to schedule the walking for after I drop Bayou off at daycare since I'm already out. I think I could walk the small loop twice which would take about 20 minutes. That makes it worth the drive up there. Just doing one loop makes it harder to justify the drive which takes 20 minutes from the house. I wish there was a closer trail but that's the closest one (Palmer Park). I wish I could do the whole loop but that takes at least 40 minutes and I don't think I'm up to that quite yet. I just need to be more consistent with the walking. If I could get out there 3 days a week it would really help me to lose weight. I'd also just feel better about myself if I would do that. I'll get in some activity tomorrow by doing the grocery shopping. It's not much but at least it's something.

David had talked about going up to Denver tomorrow for a graduation party (one of his great nephews) but I don't really want to go because last time I went up there with Kitty my knee really hurt afterward from all the sitting with my knee bent. I don't want to have that happen again. He hasn't said anything today about going and I'm not going to mention it. lol We'll see what happens tomorrow.

A friend of mine is up in Denver this weekend and wants to maybe get together on Monday. If it works out we'll get together for lunch maybe. It would be nice to see her but I wouldn't drive up to Denver to see her. Not that she's not worth it but I just don't like the drive up there. I worry about the traffic and getting lost. The GPS isn't always accurate. When Kitty and I went up she used her GPS and we still got lost. I hope it works out that she'll come through the Springs on her way home.

I weighed myself this morning and I was at 277. I wish I would weigh that much at weigh in on Wednesday.

Lisa just texted and wanted to know if I wanted to walk tomorrow morning. I don't know if I want to do that because I want to go to the 9am WW meeting. We'd have to walk at 8am. I'll think about it before I text her back.

I don't know why I have such a hard time committing to going to walking. I want to walk but get anxious when I say I will. I have such a hard time committing to any social thing. I wonder if I have some kind of anxiety disorder. I know I'll have a good time once I get there but getting there is the problem. This is something I need to talk to Alicia about in therapy. I need to figure out what the fear is. I don't want to avoid doing things all the time. I don't ever want to say yes to something ahead of time. I worry about things from the time I say I will go knowing that I will feel anxious until I either go or cancel (or just not show up). It makes me want to just say no to everything. That's no way to live life though. I definitely need help with this.

I just texted Lisa back and asked if she could go at 8am. I want to be able to make the 9am WW meeting. I need to go shopping after that. I'll have to come up with a grocery list tonight. I'm getting bored with what we've been eating (hence the fast food tonight) and would like to figure something else out to make food less blah and boring. I have plenty of cookbooks but just don't use them. WW has a ton of recipes online too. I just need to use them. Fast food is kind of boring too but it's so much easier than cooking a meal. I'm definitely not getting enough fruits and veggies in my diet at this point. I'm lucky if I get 2 or 3 a day. I always get one at breakfast and then usually an apple sometime during the day. That's just not enough though. In theory I'd like to have a salad with lunch and dinner but it just never happens. It's like the walking thing, if I don't plan it it won't happen.

Haven't heard back from Lisa yet. I'm sure 8am would work for her but I'll have to wait to hear back from her. I should plan on going even if she can't go since I'm making plans for it. It will be cooler then. I can't walk in the heat of the day. It's too hard for me. I need to just commit to myself to walk M, W & F at 8am. If Lisa can join me, great, but if not I need to do it anyway. That would still give me time to get home to shower and then go to my WW meeting on Monday and Friday. It also would get me up and going instead of just sleeping the day away. I've been sleeping a lot lately. It's probably the depression. I think I'll go see Dr. Fouss before August to see if he can adjust my medication. I need him to try something.

Gonna go for now because I'm on the phone with Lynn. More later.