I had David take Bayou with him out of the bedroom this morning and I got to sleep until 10am. That really helped to improve my mood. Unfortunately David had another blow up today because I didn't want to run to Lowe's for him. He yelled at me, swore at me and stomped off and slammed the door. He ended up going to the store himself. He did apologize for what he did but honestly I'm just getting tired of this happening. I'm not blaming myself at all for his blowing up but part of why I don't want to go to the store for him is because I'm so damned overweight and it's hard for me to get around Lowe's because it's such a big store. I did go to the grocery store to pick up some water, fruit and a few other things. I'm also doing laundry and I unloaded and the reloaded the dishwasher. It's not like I'm sitting around doing nothing. I'm just going to drop this because the more I think about it the more upset I get.
I did turn to cookies when I was upset today. I had four Golden Oreos to help stuff my feelings. At least I realize that I was eating emotionally. I didn't let it get out of hand either. I had my 4 cookies and that was it. I got my eating back on track right after that. I don't know if I'll still be in the 279's for weigh in this coming Wednesday. I'm going to do my best the next few days to try to make that happen. I wanted to be down 1.2 lbs so I could hit the 20 lbs lost mark but I won't be there this week. I don't know why it's so hard to reach this milestone but it is. I'll get there eventually.
I'm still reading "The Weight Loss Boss". One of the things that encouraged me was that it took Dave 9 years to lose his weight and make goal. I don't want to take that long but it's nice to know that sometimes it takes a while and it's okay that it's not always a straight line to weight loss and goal. The book is a good read and informative. I know that if I just keep at it and stay the course that I will lose all the weight that I want to lose. It may take longer than I hope it will but I can stick with it and do it. I have to do it. My health and my life depend on doing it. I'm so out of breath because of all this weight I am carrying around. It's hard to do anything without being tired out. My knee is still hurting a lot too. I'm on so many different medication and I want off of them (Lipitor, Zantac). I know I can do this.
One other thing that I got out of TWLB book was that trigger foods have to be kept out of the house. If I can't keep myself from eating something (like say, cookies) and all I do is think about it because it's here then I need to not bring it in the house. I have to be aware of what my trigger foods are and keep away from them. I'm not the only person who deals with these problems. I can learn from other people's experiences and try not to keep making the same mistakes. But even if I do make mistakes, I can turn it around and get back on track right away. I need to keep going to my meetings and I'll lose the weight. There was one statistic that caught my attention. The more meetings a person goes to the more weight they lose. That made me wonder if I should go back to 3 meetings a week. I can check in with the receptionist and tell them to add me as a visitor who's not weighing in instead of checking in with the meeting leader (Pat is who I'm talking about). Christine knows how to check me in that way so I can definitely go to the Friday meeting. I miss Pat's meeting and want to go so I'll have to just make sure she doesn't check me in. lol I think I would do better going to more meetings.
Tonight David is going to grill pork chops for dinner. I think I'm going to stick with salad though. I'm not very hungry because we had a burger for lunch just a few hours ago. In TWLB book he has an illustration of how a food plate should look with a 1/4 of it being fruit, 1/4 being veggies, 1/4 a whole grain and 1/4 protein. I need to follow that suggestion. It's the dietary guideline from the government now too so it's worth paying attention to.
More later.
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