from my WW blog

Yesterday when I went to the store I bought 2 boxes of lemon cookies (my favorite). I actually put them back on the shelf because I thought the coupon was expired but when I figured out that I could still use it I put them back in my cart. I told myself that I wouldn't eat them all in 2 days like I usually do, that I would put them in the cupboard and somehow magically that would keep me from eating them.

Well, last night, just knowing they were there was driving me crazy. I stayed up late to sneak them so my husband wouldn't know I was having them. I ate six of them which was 11 points! I left them on the counter last night and when I got up today all I could think about was those cookies. I mean really, did I actually believe that putting them in the cupboard was going to keep me from eating them? How silly is that?

I knew if I kept them in the house that I would eat a whole box of them today. I thought about throwing them away but kept telling myself that I didn't want to waste money (a whole $3.25!) and that if I waited to give them to someone I'd eat them before I could get them to someone else.

So, I decided that throwing them away was what I needed to do. I wrapped them in a small bag and put them in the garbage can in the garage. They are gone. I needed to do this for me. I weighed myself this morning and I haven't lost an ounce. I WI tomorrow evening and if I'm lucky I won't have gained any weight.

I haven't been getting my GHG's in each day and I'm still not making the most healthy choices in food. I'm getting some AP's by doing housework and grocery shopping but I'm not exercising at all. I told myself that I'll start tomorrow (Wednesday) but am worried that I won't do it because I can't do much because my knee hurts.

Honestly, I'm just too lazy to do it. I'm home all day today with nothing to do and I could very easily go over to the work out room and do 10-15 minutes on the treadmill but I'm putting if off until "tomorrow". I have things to do tomorrow and will probably find excuses to not exercise. I'm not doubting myself I'm just being real and honest about this. If I'm not honest about this it will just continue and I'll quit again. I don't want to be a quitter.

I don't know what 's going to motivate me. I hung up a picture of what I look like and I'm disgusted by it but I still don't do the things I need to do to lose weight. What's it going to take?!?

I'm going to my meeting tomorrow night no matter what. I'm going to walk on that treadmill tomorrow too. No excuses. I've posted it here so if I don't do it I'll not only have myself to answer to but my blog followers too. I need the accountability! I'm still playing games with myself and I'm losing every game.

Sorry for such a negative post but I just need to be honest with myself and with you. If I'm not honest I will fail and I don't want to fail. At least I threw the cookies away...