Bayou and I slept in this morning. She got us up at 6am so she could go to the bathroom and then she came in, ran down the hall and jumped back into bed. Now who am I to disagree with her? LOL We slept until about 8:30am. That's late for us. It felt good. I actually woke up and didn't feel exhausted. I didn't feel like having my bowl of cereal and banana this morning but had it anyway. It's a 3 point meal and it fills me up. I have to remind myself that food isn't entertainment, it's fuel. I want to like what I eat but every meal can't be a party. Last night I messed up with the cookies. It was late (I had fallen asleep in my chair in the living room) and I ate 6 cookies. I woke up this morning wishing I hadn't done that. The cookies are on the counter still. I'm going to bag them up and put them in the cabinet. I know they are there though and will eat them all. I'm just hoping that I can make them last and not eat them all in 2 days. I took all my supplements this morning. I really had to choke them down. I hate taking all these pills. I can't wait until I lose weight and I'm eating healthy enough that I don't have to take all these supplements and medications. Until then though I need to make myself take them. Ugh! They almost make me feel sick when I take them.
I want to start walking on the treadmill tomorrow. I don't know if I can make myself do it though. I tell myself that it's not worth the time if I'm only going to walk for 15 minutes but I know it really is worth the time. 15 minutes is better than doing nothing. It's definitely worth the time if it helps me to lose weight. I weighed myself this morning and I weighed 284. I haven't lost any weight. I have to remind myself that I'm not following the GHG's and that I'm still making unhealthy choices. Maybe this will be my wake up call to start following the plan. I'm going to hate going in there tomorrow night and have not lost or worse gained weight this week. But if I'm going to play I'm going to pay. I'm not taking this seriously enough. That's why I have to get on that treadmill. I should go over there today and get started. I can leave Bayou in her kennel for half an hour. It won't kill her.
I read an article on WW online about starting a walking program. It says that you should walk every day, 10 minutes/day to get in the habit of walking. After a month you increase to 15 minutes a day. I think I should follow the suggestions in that article. Again though it seems like it's not worth it for just 10 minutes/day. I have to convince myself that whether I want to do it or not that I'm going to do it. It will only help me. I wish I had a treadmill in the house. I think I would use it more than having to go over to the clubhouse to use one. I have to get myself out of the house though. I can't have everything just handed to me. If I'm not going to work for it, I'm not going to lose any weight. I really need to make myself get over there and walk! I think part of it too is that I know that I'm going to get all sweaty after just 10 minutes and for some reason that bugs me. I'll have to shower every day just because I did 10 minutes of exercise. Because I don't do anything these days I only shower every other day. Stupid reason, but I'm being honest here. I've even gotten lazy about showering every day. How pathetic.
I'm not sure why I'm in such a negative mood today but I am. It's probably because I weighed myself. What should I expect though? I haven't been following the plan and I'm not losing weight. Duh! It shouldn't be a surprise to me. I need to stick to Power Foods and stop eating the junk stuff. I'm still eating too much junk (cookies, Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches, candy, soda). I think I lull myself into a false sense of security and think that just because I lost last week that I'll continue to lose weight by making bad choices. It's not going to happen. I really need to work at this. It's not going to come easy. I have to change how I eat and what I eat.
I think I'm frustrated today too because I'm sore all over and Bayou keeps hitting the door to come in, I get up and she walks away from the door. My knee is killing me and getting up really hurts. I'm getting mad that she's doing that. It's no fun being overweight and having such a hard time doing such simple things. Day to day things aren't easy for me. It's why I think I can't do the treadmill. I can't even get up to open the door without being in pain. What will walking on the treadmill do to me. Actually I have to think about what it will do FOR me. In the long run and probably in the short term too it will make me feel better. If nothing else I will mentally feel better for getting myself to do some exercise. Just doing housework isn't going to cut it. I have to work out. I have too much weight to lose to not exercise.
I'm already thinking about how horrible it's going to feel tomorrow night to have gained weight this week. It's not like I didn't try at all this week. All I want to do is eat cookies. I need to throw them in the garbage. They aren't going to help me at all. I shouldn't have bought them. It was a bad idea. I should put them in a bag and bring them right out to the garbage can so I'm not tempted to take them out of the trash. Instead I'll probably eat a few and then throw the rest away. I can't have snacks like that around the house. I just eat them until they are gone.
Well, I did it. I ate one cookie (to say goodbye lol) and put the rest in a small bag and put it in the trash in the garage. I can crave them all I want but I'm not going to eat them. I can eat fruit or other Power Foods. Snacks and desserts are my downfall. I'm going to have to figure out a way to have a snack but not have it in the house. Maybe once a week I can go out to a restaurant and get a piece of pie or cake and not bring any of it home. I don't even know if I should do that. They serve such big pieces of pie and cake. Argh! I'm going to have to figure this out. I want to have a snack once in a while but I can't have them in the house. I just eat it all within days of getting it. I won't lose weight by eating junk food all the time. I'm proud of myself for getting rid of the cookies. I needed to do that and I did. It only cost me $3.25 for the cookies but really what it would have cost me weight wise is far more than $3.25. It's done now and I need to move on.
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