I weighed in last night and I gained .2 (point 2) lbs. Considering all the brownies I ate and the fast food last Wednesday night after weigh in, I'm pretty happy with only gaining .2 lbs. I still feel like it was a successful week though because I went walking Wednesday morning. I've got to figure out how to eat healthier so that I will lose weight every week. I now know I can't make brownies or anything like that. If I have them, I will eat them. It's just like the cookies. I threw away the last brownie last night instead of eating it. It was easy to do because it was pretty dried out anyway. I knew I shouldn't have made them but again, thought that I could manage my eating but found out quickly that I couldn't. I think if I really want a treat like that I will buy one piece from the bakery and split it with David. That way it's done and over with and there's no leftovers to eat. For now I just need to stay away from the junk food.
We're out of chips again and it's not even a week since I bought both bags. That's not good at all. We both eat too many of them for snacks when we should be snacking on healthier options (fruit, cheese, veggies, etc.). I'm going to try to do without chips this week. I wish there were some small packs of chips I could get for David's lunches. I'll have to check that out. If I ate some then I'd be limited to a small amount instead of eating tons of chips all week. I'm not going to lose weight if I eat fatty, fried foods and snacks all the time. So, Deli Style Chips are NOT on the grocery list this week. That will be really hard but I'll do it.
I tried the 94% FF popcorn but it tastes like cardboard to me. I'll go with the regular popcorn and just have less of it. I think if I can have that for lunch I'll be okay without the chips. I get very few chips for the 4 pp value and I would get a lot more popcorn for the 3 pp value. It would be a good substitution.
I'm out of one of my psych meds and I'm not feeling great because of it. I had a panic attack on Tuesday and have mostly just been laying on the couch the last 2 days. I hope it gets her today so I can take it tonight as scheduled. I've been out of it for a few days now and that's not good. There was a mess up by CVS Caremark and it didn't get approved and mailed until days after it should have. I'll order it even earlier next time. I just hope it gets here today. If it's not here by tomorrow the latest then I'll be waiting until Tuesday because of the holiday. That would be really bad.
When I weighed in last night I was ready for a bigger weight gain so I was happy to see only a .2 gain. The meeting was really good. There was one lady who got a gold ring for losing 100 pounds! That was an inspiration to me. Oh yeah, Pat messed up my WI on Monday so I couldn't officially weigh in last night. That was a bummer. I'm thinking about only going to a meeting once a week now. I don't want to have my weigh in messed up every week. I'll have to think on that. I could just show up and not check in at the Monday and Friday meetings like I was doing before. I'd hate to miss my meetings. I need them. I'll figure out what would be best. Listening to the same topic 3x/week doesn't bother me but not being able to officially weigh in does bother me.
It's 1pm and I haven't had lunch yet. I don't really feel hungry yet. I'm worried that the weight gain has me back in deprivation mode. If I don't eat, I can't gain weight, that kind of thing. Honestly part of it too is that I'm used to having my ham and cheese sandwich with chips and there are no chips. I would put 3 or 4 chips right on my sandwich and have the rest of the allotted amount on my plate. I only have FF popcorn so having a sandwich doesn't sound that appetizing. I should eat anyway and try to get in some of the GHG's for the day. I'll have to think about what I want. I don't want to eat just to eat. I want it to be healthy and I want to be hungry.
I got that book, "How to cook everything". It's a pretty good book. I just have to have the energy and motivation to want to cook something beside the usual stuff I make. I'm really bored with food and cooking. I have to get over that though. I know I need to eat more salads but I'm too lazy to make them and don't like them all that much. If I don't get excited about this program I'm not going to be successful on it. It's not just going to happen. I have to make it happen and I'm not doing that right now.
I know not having my meds is making me feel really down. Once I'm back on them regularly then I'll feel good again and motivated to want to walk and eat better. It's hard to do anything when I feel so depressed. I'm only depressed because I'm not on the medicine. There's nothing going on that is causing the depression. It's chemical, not situational.
I'm going to go have some fruit. I need something and that would be the best choice right now. More later.
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