Overslept!

I went to lie down for 45 minutes and woke up almost 2 hours later! I went right over to the exercise room only to find someone already on the treadmill. I should have asked him how long he would be but I didn't. So know I don't know when to go back over. He could have been just starting, just finishing or anywhere in between. I don't know if he walks for an hour or 20 minutes. Duh! I have my 11:30am appointment this morning and have to leave at 10:45am for that so I'm pushing myself on time. I think that instead of hurrying myself I'll just go over there after my appointment. I can do the shopping after that. I never should have tried starting this today. I have too much going on on Wednesdays. Tomorrow would have been better because I don't have anything going on. It's always "tomorrow" that I'll start something and tomorrow comes and goes and I don't do anything. All this just makes me want to have a treadmill in the house even more. I honestly don't want to wait on someone. I just want to hop on and go. And it does feel stupid to drive 2/10th of a mile over to the clubhouse to walk for 10-15 minutes on the treadmill. No driving if I had one here.

Anyway, I came home once I saw someone was on the treadmill and had my cereal so I can take my morning medicine. I can't take it too late today since I'll be driving in an just over an hour. I should go over and check to see if the treadmill is available. If not I can wait until it is and leave from there for my appointment if I have to. I won't get a shower in though. Argh! I really wanted to do this today. Too many things are getting in the way and it's too easy for me to just forget about it. I'm not strong enough to get past all these obstacles. Okay I'm going to wait until this afternoon to go over there again. There's a better chance that the treadmill will be available and I won't have to feel rushed. My meeting tonight isn't until 5:30pm so I'll have plenty of time.

Honestly I just want to wait until tomorrow when I will have all the time I need. Then again it's not going to take that long. I only need about half an hour tops to get this done. Really I want to wait until I get a treadmill for the house to do it. I don't know how long that would take but it would be worth the wait to me. I've put this pressure on myself to start today though. I have to remind myself that I can change my mind. I've let the fact that I've told people online that I would do this paint me into a corner. That's stupid. ~sigh~ I don't know what to do now. I should have set my alarm and been over there at 8am. It's my own fault for sleeping so long.

I need to just calm down and breathe. It's not going to make a big difference if I start today or a week from today. Yes, getting to it today would be best but part of me is struggling with this because I don't really want to work out in front of other people because I'm so out of shape. I can't control who comes over to the clubhouse. Gosh, all this drama for 10-15 minutes of walking. This is stupid. I won't get out of my appointment until 12:30pm or later and then it's a half an hour drive home. So I won't get home until 1 or 1:30pm. Then I'd have to go to the store and rush to get dinner going so David can eat before I go to my meeting. That way I don't have to feel like I have to rush to get out of my meeting. Yeah, today was just a bad day to choose to start something. Today I'll have to be content with my 2 minute walk around the cul de sac and walking to and from Alicia's office and going up and down a flight of stairs. I can park around the block to get more of a walk in. With all that I'll have my 10 minutes in.

Time to report in to my online community friends. I'm not going to feel like a failure or feel disappointed in myself. I'm just going to be honest and say I've decided to wait until I get my own treadmill to start walking. That's it for now.