Monday lunch

I did get some sleep before the WW meeting today. I almost got up too late for the meeting! But I was able to get there just on time. However, I didn't get to have anything to eat before I left and I didn't take a snack with me. I wasn't awake enough to think about doing that. So after all my errands, I was feeling really hungry. I thought for a second about stopping somewhere to get something (McDonald's, 7-Eleven) but the streak is still going and I didn't want to ruin it so I decided not to stop but to go home and get something to eat.


When I got home I felt ravenous. I wanted something to eat and I wanted it now! So instead of taking time to make a sandwich I made a nacho plate (tortilla chips, cheese and pico de gallo) and had a pear. It was very quick and I needed quick. I didn't like how I felt about doing that though. I was reacting instead of acting. I was hungry and needed something right that minute. At least that's what I thought. I think if I had made myself slow down and take time to make a sandwich I would have felt better about it. But it's okay because the nacho plate was only 4 points. Breakfast was only 5 so I actually have to make the sandwich anyway. But I'm waiting. I'm not rushing to do it just because I feel like the world will end if I don't eat. It's a feeling and I can put up with a feeling.


I took time to make some tea and I'll make my lunch here in a couple of minutes. I realize I probably could have avoided the noshing on nachos (not that the nachos were a bad thing) if I had taken time to eat before I went out or if I had brought a snack with me. Lesson learned. I will plan better next time so that maybe I won't feel like that. Or if I do feel like that I can remind myself that it's okay to wait until I've made something healthy/healthier to eat.


It will be a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch today with some pretzels and fruit, maybe grapes.


Today's Weekly WW handout has a delicious looking recipe in it for Pumpkin-Oat Bread. I think I have everything I need to make it so I might do that tonight. No, I have to get brown sugar. I can pick that up this afternoon when I go to the store to get a few things (calcium for David, distilled water for both of us). I'll get the brown sugar then. I may just go to Walgreen's since my knee is so sore today. It feels like I've twisted it too much. I have my appointment with Shellie tomorrow at 1pm. And I switched my appointment with Alicia to Thursday at 2pm. That way I don't have to worry about going out Wednesday if the roads are bad. I'll try to get to the WW center to weigh in at least. If the roads are okay I'll have David bring us over to the Wednesday night meeting. He hasn't officially weighed in yet. He needs to do that.


Laundry and dishes continue as they do every day. Besides that I don't have anything else to do. I'll figure out dinner later. It will be something quick again since my knee is so sore. Maybe I can get David to grill some burgers or steak. I'll have to check out the WW site for some inspiration. If I had thought of it earlier I would have tried to make something in the crock pot. Maybe I can do that tomorrow.


Picture is of today's lunch.

Knee still an issue

I had an English muffin with butter and jelly for a mid morning snack, plus some grapes. That's 2 fruits in one morning for me. I think that's a record. LOL It's after 11am so I don't think I'm going to the noon meeting . Still could shower and get there if I really wanted to though. I don't think I've been to a Saturday morning meeting yet. I have the dinner play tonight so I want to be careful about my knee.


I ended up showering and going to the Saturday morning meeting. It's a very quiet meeting. Not my type of meeting. It was fine but I prefer a more uplifting one. I'm still glad I went though. I bought a box of Lemon Mini Bars after the meeting. I like them now when they are straight out of the fridge. Only problem is that I aggravated my knee. This stinks.


Got my knee brace and it fits. I have it on. It helps but I still have to keep my knee elevated. No play tonight. It hurts too much to sit with my knee bent especially with the brace off. I'm very frustrated and really tired of this. The doctor is going to have to do an MRI to find out what's going on. I can't put up with this for very much longer. It does feel better, more stable, with the brace on but the pain isn't going away so I took some ibuprofen. It's the only other thing that helps. I don't want to have to wear a brace all the time but it's better than the excruciating pain I'm having with this knee injury.

Okay, I'm going to try to make the best of this day even though I'm very disappointed to miss the Mystery Dinner play tonight. I really wanted to see Graeme play a geek. If I can make it, I will try to see Monday night's play. David is out on an errand. When he gets home we'll have lunch. I'm hungry now but I'll wait for him. I'm going to stay on plan even though I'm frustrated and anxious which makes me want to eat. I'll stick to the Power Foods and my regular meals. I can do this!

Right INNER knee pain now! :(

Now my inner knee is really hurting. I put some heat on it and that has helped a little. I feel like crying, not just because of the pain but because of the frustration I feel. I really wanted to go hiking tomorrow and I can't even walk around the house tonight. I was fine most of the day. It started hurting tonight. I haven't really done anything to make it hurt. I did get up and down a lot to let Bayou in and out. Maybe that aggravated it. I took some pain meds. That should help some but it just masks the pain, it doesn't take it away for good.

I forgot to ask the ortho doc for a brace yesterday. I'll call tomorrow and see if I can get one approved. If not, I'll try to get one in town. My leg is so big I don't know that they'll have one in stock but maybe they can order one. If that's the case I could just order one off of Amazon for less I'm sure. If I wasn't so overweight and my legs weren't so huge I could just go to Walgreen's and get a brace but that's not the case. We do have a medical supply place I can call and check with before trying Amazon. I'd like to get one right away though so walking isn't so painful. This stinks.

I'm hoping that if I stay off it for a little while tonight it will feel better. I really think a brace would make a difference. This part of my knee wasn't really bothering me when I saw the doctor yesterday. I don't even know if he's in the office tomorrow. I'm thinking that he's not but I'll call early tomorrow.

My plan to hike tomorrow is probably out of the question now unless this is something that stops hurting by the morning. I just can't imagine why it's hurting so bad right now. It doesn't make any sense.

I've got to not let this get me down though. I'm still going to my WW meeting in the morning. I'm supposed to bring in my tracker printout for Karen to review. I really need the help with being on the plan if I can't work out. I hope she has the time to look at it. I'll be disappointed if she doesn't. Just being honest. I mean, I'll understand because I know how busy she is but I'm really needing the help right now. If she doesn't have time before the meeting maybe she'd have time afterward. I'm not gonna stress about it. It will go the way it's supposed to go. I'll be there at 9:30am anyway.

The pain med (hydrocodone and Tylenol) is making me feel kinda sick. I may have taken 2 doses too close to each other.

I'm bummed because I wanted to make a batch of cookies tonight. Maybe I can do it a little later. Standing doesn't hurt too much just the walking. I'll see how it goes.

David's A1C Level

My DH went to the doctor after work today to get his A1C level rechecked because they didn't believe it could go from 6.9 down to 5.9. I think it could because we've made huge changes in our diet in the past month. They did the quick test and his A1C was 6.0 today. They still didn't believe it so they drew blood from his arm (they did the finger poke for the quick test) to be tested in a lab. LOL I think his A1C has dropped because of diet but I guess 2 tests could be wrong. NOT! I can't wait until I go in for my blood work again to see where my numbers are. I'm sure they will be so much better than they have been. It's just too funny that they always want his numbers to be in the normal range and then when they are they don't believe it. haha I don't know when the results will be back but our doctor is pretty good about calling with lab results so as soon as it's back and she's in the office she'll call.


Dinner was easy tonight - peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and chips. I'm going to make another batch of those oatmeal cran-raisin bite cookies tonight. I'll probably make a double batch so he can bring some to work tomorrow for the guys. They have all worked hard this month and deserve a treat.


I'll also have a fruit later to get another fruit in. I'm not doing as good as I'd like with the fruits and veggies. I am doing better then I was though. For a while I thought I would get scurvy from not having any fruits at all. LOL


Picture is of my husband, David

Appointment canceled - more NOTHING to do!

My therapist's car broke down, thankfully by her house, but she had to cancel my appointment today. And we all know what that means - a whole lot of nothing is going on around here. LOL Bayou is either out playing in the snow or on the couch napping and me, well, I'm just blogging and surfing around the WW community. I don't feel any pressure to do anything this afternoon. Once David gets home I'll get in gear but for now nothing but sweet relaxation. My therapist is going to call me later to check in with me. I think that's nice of her. I'll hopefully be able to reschedule for tomorrow but it will depend on what's going on with her car. No biggie though. Because of WW I'm doing just peachy these days. It's really made a big difference in my life to have a goal to work toward and things to do (meetings, online stuff, blogging). I wish I knew why in the past that WW didn't appeal to me. Hmm. Kind of interesting that it clicked this time around.


I borrowed this picture from someone in the WW community but can't remember who right now. Thank you. It fits perfectly for me today.

Invited to participate in Channel 9 News (Denver) piece on self-injury

I seem to be turning into a spokesperson for people who have suffered from self-injury. I self-injured off and on from my teens until my mid 40's. It's been 7 years now since I've hurt myself on purpose. I did a radio show interview this past month with an author/professor/sociologist who wrote a book on self-injury. I honestly think that if I hadn't joined WW I never would have been able to do the interview. It wasn't because I had lost weight and looked better, it was because I had a new found self-confidence that I found at going to WW meetings and by sticking to the plan. 


The radio interview went really well and now I'm being asked to do a short news piece for Denver Channel 9 news with the same author and a few other participants. I still weigh 290 pounds but I'm going to go for it. I know that I bring my experience to the topic and that is valuable. If I can help one person by doing the interview I will have found it all worth my time and effort.


I haven't focused on my appearance in a long time so I have a little sprucing up to do but it will be worth it. I'm feeling better about myself every day and deserve to color my hair (red, thank you very much) and get a new outfit. I have 2 weeks or so until the interview and that will give me the opportunity to lose a few more pounds. Every pound makes a difference.


I'm very excited and proud to be asked to do this interview for Channel 9 news. Everyone says that I sound intelligent and well spoken in the radio interview. I just hope that will translate into TV for me too. I am nervous about doing it but I can't sit on the sidelines my whole life just because I'm overweight right now.


If you're interested in hearing the radio interview you can find it here. There are some graphic depictions so please be forewarned.


I was thinking about self-injury because of being asked to this this news piece and wondered about "hurting" myself by overeating. I wonder if that was the new way that I hurt myself. I've gained a lot of weight since 2004 when I quit self-injuring. Self-injuring was a way to cope with serious issues and then when I stopped I turned to eating to deal with my emotions. I know it's not as outwardly hurtful as self-injury but it's still taken it's toll on me. I think that I wouldn't have seen that connection before joining WW. My eyes have been opened up to so many things in just the past month since I joined WW. I am so grateful for all of the things I am learning and the opportunities opening up to me.


I know this is a serious subject that doesn't get talked about in public much but I'm hoping to change that. There are a lot of young people out there, and older people too, who think they are crazy or all alone and I just want them to know that they are not crazy and they are not alone.


I'm 290 pounds and 51 years old but feel like I am finally getting a shot at living my life and contributing to the world. Thank you WW for giving me that opportunity!

I know where I messed up...

I know why I had a 1.4 pound gain this past week. Here's what I think:


* couldn't do any real workouts because of my knee pain but have since been cleared by the doc to go back to hiking


* I am still eating lots of carbs and fats in my meals; I'm making adjustments to that as I go along; I'll be talking to a meeting leader Friday who is going to look over my online tracker print outs and let me know where I need to make changes and what changes to make


* 41, yes 41, of my points for the week were used for drinking Hawaiian Punch Fruit Juice!! That's almost all of my weekly allowance PPV's!! Sheesh!! I had convinced myself that drinking juice was as good as drinking water. I was SO wrong! So I'm off the Hawaiian Punch completely and drinking herbal tea and water. Peeing a lot more but that's the price you pay for healthy drinking I guess. LOL

* I am still giving in to emotional eating, mostly anxiety (can you say - 2 yeast, glazed donuts for breakfast this weekend for 13 points total. Wow!)


I'm so glad that I realized what is going on and have made changes so things go continue to go in a decreasing direction. I had gained over 2 pounds over the weekend and feel grateful to be getting away with a 1.4 lb. gain. I don't know if I even would have noticed these things before tracking but I'm noticing them now and that's a good thing. And not only am I noticing them, but I'm making the changes that need to be made. I'm still struggling with things but I'm trying to figure out ways to get around or through the issues I'm dealing with by using this community, talking to leaders, going to meetings, tracking, sharing with my husband and just being more aware. I'm keeping my eyes open and not letting food or drink just slip into my mouth unnoticed. I track it before I eat it so I have to be accountable for every bite or sip. Works for me.


Today will be my second day of withdrawal from all the sugar in the juice. And I'm sure the red dye in the drink that stains my counter and sink wasn't doing me any favors either. Who knows what effect that was having. Maybe it was contributing to my anxiety. Glad I'm off that stuff.


I've given myself permission to NOT workout (go hiking or to the Y) today. I just got the injection in my knee yesterday and I need to give it a day or so to work before I get out there on it. But I'll be hiking tomorrow (Friday), just a short 15 minute hike, but that's enough for me at this point. My normal hike is about 40-45 minutes but I'm not up for that quite yet. Just getting out there is a major accomplishment for me.


So, all I have scheduled for today is an appointment with my therapist. We are going to start the process of working on my PTSD about driving in weather (snow, fog, heavy rain). She'll be using a technique that she is certified in called EMDR. Should prove to be interesting. The rest of the day I'll be spending with my puppy, Bayou. Now that my knee is better I can get up and down easier and letting her in and out isn't such an issue. No daycare for her today. She'll be back on her regular M/W/F schedule starting tomorrow.


I've gone over my schedule and I've plugged in hiking, treadmill class, Silver Sneakers class, an arthritis pool class, WW meetings and appointments. I'm working everything around Bayou's daycare days so she doesn't spend too much time in her kennel alone at home. She's great in her kennel, I just don't like her being in there too long. She's such a good puppy. Instead of sleeping with us she's sleeping on the couch now in the living room. I miss her at night but it's easier to just let her sleep on the couch than to try to get her to go to bed with us. She's growing up. Wah!


One thing I don't like about all the cooking I'm doing so we can eat healthier is all of the dirty dishes. Yikes! I have to clean up the mess from last night later this morning. I also have to continue the laundry. It never really gets finished so I try not to use that word. LOL

Dinner

Scrambled ground beef, 3 oz

Homemade mashed potatoes, 1/2 cup

peas, 1/2 cup

dessert - homemade oatmeal cran-raisin bite cookies, 2 pts each (4)

I got the recipe from the WW site (oatmeal raisin bites).

I had enough leftovers for lunch for me for tomorrow. Work is providing lunch for David tomorrow so I don't have to make him a lunch. Ahh. I really can relax tonight.

I didn't go to the 5:30pm meeting because of the roads get a little slippery. But I already weighed in this afternoon so I'm all set. I may go to the 9:30am meeting tomorrow even though it's a mom and me meeting. There have been kids at other meetings and it hasn't been an issue so I'm sure tomorrow would be okay. I just hate to miss two days in a row. LOL Who'd have thunk it? I see Alicia at 11:30am. And I will definitely be at the WW 10:00am meeting (but I'll be there at 9:30am). I keep worrying that Karen won't be there or she'll forget about me or something. Just old stuff cropping up. If she's not there or not available, I'll just wait until I see her again.

I miss not going to Dori's meeting but it is nice to give myself a day off from afternoon and evening events. I needed it.

My knee is feeling better tonight. I'm still achy though, in both knees, because of the weather (is that a myth or NOT?). I think I just need to get out and hike to get my knees working. I may be a little sore but pretty quickly I will adjust and my knees will feel better overall. My whole body will feel better when I can be working out. I'll have to schedule in the Y too. I won't go to the Y until next week or this weekend. Beside the WW meeting Friday I'm taking the day off from everything. I may even keep Bayou home though I'll have an easier day if she is at daycare. Maybe I can get David to take me over to pick her up Friday afternoon. I'll play it by ear. I'll probably be so psyched about my WW meeting that I'll do all kinds of stuff I wasn't planning on. I will go hiking Friday though.

Guess I need to sit down and go over my schedule again and sync up with the treadmill class at the Y and hiking and Bayou going to daycare and WW meetings. Whew! I'm tired just thinking about all of this. LOL

Gained 1.4 lbs.

I decided that I had time to run over and get weighed in. I gained 1.4 lbs. That's actually okay because it's down from the over 2 pound gain I was at this past week. So I'm heading in the right direction again. I came home feeling hungry and had fruit instead of chips or cheese & crackers. Hopefully that will satisfy me. I know I'm hungry because of the weather. The stress of thinking of being out there does me in. So I decided to go weigh in while the traffic was light and after that I picked up Bayou. So we are home for the night unless David wants to go to the 5:30pm meeting tonight. I'm fine if he doesn't want to go. He can weigh in at home and we can track it until he goes in to get weighed.


I'm disappointed that I gained weight but because I know why I did (all that freakin' juice) I'm not upset with myself. I know I can do this plan. I just need some guidance. I'm looking forward to seeing Karen on Friday morning and learning from her. I will take to heart any suggestions she has for me. I know that quitting the juice and going to water is definitely a help. Now I need to increase the proteins and fiber and decrease the carbs and fat. That will be a little harder for me because I'm a carbaholic. I know that lots of people deal with that so I'm sure Karen will have some suggestions for me.


The injection I got in my knee is really helping it to not hurt. I actually feel like I can relax for a while now. Especially since I probably won't be going out again tonight. And if we do go out, David will drive, so that takes the pressure and stress off of me. It feels good to relax and not have to worry about going out again to pick up Bayou. They had birthday party day there for all the dogs who have October birthdays. Bayou got to bring home a goodie bag with treats in it. I'll let David give those to her later. She's sleeping pretty soundly right now anyway. The picture is of her during last month's birthday celebration day. Her birthday is in December. I'll definitely have her in daycare that day so she can play with all of her friends. She's been in daycare almost every day for the last week and a half because of my knee. Now we can get back to our 3 day schedule (M, W & F). That makes life a lot easier for me.


I just moved my knee the wrong way and it hurt. Guess I still need to keep things at a slow pace until the shot really takes effect.


Never got my nap in earlier. I think I'll take a nap now before David gets home and I have to get dinner going. Tonight it will be scrambled ground beef, peas and mashed potatoes. Can't wait! It sounds yummy.

Good news from the Ortho Doc

I can start hiking again. I have no injury, just irritation and arthritis. He gave me a steroid injection that is helping already (probably the anesthetic in it). He was sad that I had gained so much weight over the summer but thrilled that I am on the WW plan and losing weight now. He said that as I lose weight my knees should feel better and better. Now I just need to stick with the program and stay on plan. Getting out to hike again is going to really make me feel better mentally. I'll feel like I'm using up some of the points I'm taking in. I'll probably wait until Friday to go walking to give the injection time to work. This means I can get back to the Y too, slowly, but I can get back there. No banked track or bike for me though at this point. I'll take a treadmill class and see how that goes. If anything irritates my knee too much I'll have to back off but I think I should be good to go on the hiking.


I'm hoping we make it to the meeting tonight for WI. The roads are just wet now but may ice up then. If the roads don't cooperate, I'll just weigh in on Thursday. No biggie.I'm not going to let it get me down. I know I've gained but I still want to weigh in. It would be easy to skip this week and wait until next week when I know I'll probably be down and have lost the first 10 lbs but I don't want to only go when things are good. When things aren't good is when I really need to be there. Like I've been doing this week. I'll find the support and encouragement I need there.


Lunch was lean deli ham and a 1/3 slice of cheddar cheese on a multigrain sandwich thins bread, with 14 chips. I'm still eating fast and don't feel satisfied right away but I'm getting used to waiting the 20 minutes so that I know that I indeed did have enough to eat. Also had a pear with lunch to get some fruit in.


I just was reminded looking at the calendar that David has a doctor appointment this afternoon and so going to the 5:30pm meeting may not work out. I don't want to drive on icy roads so I think I'll just plan on weighing in tomorrow at noon (the 9:30am is the mom and me meeting). Oops can't do that because I see Alicia at 11:30am. I'll just go by sometime tomorrow just to weigh in. I could go now but I'd have to rush and there's no sense in doing that. I'll just wait until tomorrow. I don't want David to have to come home from a long day and have to rush to a meeting. That wouldn't be any fun for him or for me.


Too scattered right now in my thinking. I'll figure out what I'm going to do and just do it. LOL

Letter to Karen

I spent some time this morning writing a thank you letter to Karen for the awesome meeting she did yesterday and for volunteering to help me by looking over my online tracker that I have printed out. I think it only fair that she knows that taking the time that she did has really helped me out.


Well, it's Wednesday and it's snowing out but the roads are okay right now so I should be able to make it to my ortho appointment to have my knee checked. It would be so great if I could start walking/hiking again soon. But if it needs more time to heal then I'll give it that time. Whatever will be best in the long run. I did take Bayou to daycare. She was happy to get there.


I need to keep to my promise to drink water today (whether it's plain water or herbal tea). I've already had 8 ounces this morning. That's pretty good for me. I'll drink another bottle of water before I go to my appointment (20 oz.). It's hard for me to do but I'm committed to doing it.


I also need to watch what I'm eating (as far as measuring and weighing). I have a general idea now that I've done that for a couple of weeks but I need to dedicate more effort to that. Being more accurate will help with the weight loss.


I'm going to get in a quick nap before I have to leave for my appointment. I'll update on what the ortho doc says once I get home. No appointment with Alicia today. She rescheduled it for tomorrow. YAY! So all there is after my appointment is picking up Bayou and the 5:30pm weigh in meeting! Later.

Being Totally Honest

I have been getting in some activity points this past week by walking when I shop and doing housework. I thought about using the little motorized cart when I was grocery shopping but that would have taken away the little bit of activity I have been getting. 

But I could have done more. I have 2 Qi Gong videos that I can do seated but I never even got them out. I could have looked up a video of chair exercises and didn't do that either. I'm sure there's probably a show on satellite TV that I could record that does sitting exercises but I didn't even look for one. I could have bought a DVD on chair exercises on Amazon but I didn't do that either. They may have something at the library. I didn't check their either.

So why didn't I do any of those things? I think it's because I wanted to have an excuse for gaining weight this week. I kept telling myself that I couldn't work out because of my knee but I could have gone to the Y and asked about some upper body stuff. Didn't do that either. I even thought about going to use the hot tub but never got there for that. My excuse for that? I won't get my swim shorts until Friday. I'm too fat to be seen in just a swimsuit.

Excuses, excuses, excuses. I have tons of them.

I keep saying "if only I could go hiking, I'd work out" but I can't do that because of my knee right now so I should be doing something that I can do. I'm supposed to go see Dr. Jinking tomorrow but may have to cancel because of weather. I'm going to do my best to get there though because I want to know what's going on with my knee. It still is sore when I walk or if I'm on it too much. I thought by now it would be just fine but it's not.

The lack of exercise along with eating too much carbohydrates and fats is allowing me to gain weight instead of losing it. I weighed myself at home today and I was still up a pound or so. I just weighed myself and I'm up 2 pounds.

The good news is that I know why I've gained the weight. I've had a gallon and a half of juice in less than a week. I have been drinking that instead of water. That's not good. So as of tonight I'm done with the juice. I just dumped out a half gallon of it down the drain. It really stains the sink so I had to wash it out after I dumped the juice. The red dye in it must be wreaking havoc with my body. Let alone the poison of the sugar (HFCS). But it's gone. I have some bottles left and I'll see if Lisa wants those for the boys. If not, I'll toss those too. If  I drink any juice at all it will at least be natural juice not red dyed juice like Hawaiian Punch.

I am going to force myself to drink water. I will drink 48 oz of it each day (two 20 oz bottles and 1 8 oz bottle). It isn't going to be easy but I am going to have to do it. Starting right now! I've drank 20 oz. of water just tonight. I won't get my 48 oz. in tonight because I drank so much juice today but tomorrow I will drink my 48 oz. of water each day. I may not like it but it's one of the things I need to do to lose weight.

A water bottle will be my new constant friend. :-)

Just wanted to be honest about what's going on with me. I need the accountability. I can't only blog when things go well though I will blog when they do go well but it's almost more important to blog when I struggle because I can be honest with myself and others and get the help that I need.

I'm sticking with this plan for the long haul. I have 116 pounds to lose and I'm going to do it. It will take me some time to do it but every ounce I lose is one less ounce I have to carry around with me. I want to lose it all for good. I'm inspired by the leaders at WW and what they have done. I will learn from them.

I hope that this is helpful to someone else and makes your journey a little bit easier to go through. Have a good night everyone!

I'm Glad I Woke Up (part 2)

I left off where I had asked Karen if she would look at my tracker and she said that she would look at it on Friday (her next day in the center). She was going to be there at 9:30am and I should come in then to show her my tracker journal. I almost cried again. I did get tears in my eyes. She is going to take time out of her busy schedule to work with me. No one else has offered to do that and she did. It means the world to me.


I was so psyched that I came home and went through the WW PP Getting Started guide from front to back. I made notes on the things that Karen said and made my own notes too. I highlighted important things. Printed out some stuff from the WW site to add to the book and put in a handout we got today on Managing Your Environment. I came up with a "Winning Outcome" strategy:


I will achieve my weight goal of 174 pounds by eating healthier foods and keeping track of what I eat and drink. I will walk or exercise 3 times per week. I will weigh in every week and attend at least 2 meetings per week. This is how I will achieve my weight loss goal.


I also was thinking that I will use all my daily PP values each day like I'm supposed to and I'll use my WPPA values without fear. I will stop drinking juice and will drink water and herbal tea. I know I gained weight this week because of all the juice. And not to make excuses but I haven't been working out because of my knee. I've been doing other things (housework, walking/shopping) but it's not the same as being able to go out hiking. I could be doing Qi Gong or other chair exercises. Instead I've been doing nothing. Not good. I've been using my knee as an excuse for eating and drinking the wrong things.


Karen talked about eating more protein and fiber and less fat and carbohydrates. I've been eating way too many carbs which basically is sugar. It's not good for me. I need to be focusing on the Power Foods and I haven't been doing that. So I went to the store and got more fruit.


For dinner I made 2 WW recipes (baked chicken and friend rice) and for dessert I made another WW recipe for Oatmeal Raisin Bites but substituted cran-raisins for raisins (just because I didn't have raisins and did have the cranberry raisins). The WW dinner was 7 points total and the cookies were 2 points each (made small on purpose) and I had 4. That left me with 0 points on my daily points and 1 point on my WPPA points. I just made staying on plan this week. I did have AP's I could have used but that would have defeated the purpose for me right now, which is weight loss.


I made just 12 cookies - 4 for me, 4 for David for tonight and 4 for his lunch for tomorrow. The rest of the batter is in the freezer for another time. I was proud of myself for not using all the batter and only having 4 cookie bites. By the way, they were fantastic! The yummiest oatmeal cookies I have ever made or eaten.


I also took time today to copy all the recipes out of the weekly handouts and the Getting Started guide so I have them to use. That's where I got the recipes for tonight. There also was a Power Foods mini cookbook that I printed out. I put all of them in my recipe binder on the fridge.


Weigh in is tomorrow night but I'm not sure we'll get there because of weather. I'll just play that by ear. But I'll get to the Thursday meeting so I can weigh in then if I need to. And I'll definitely be there at 9:30am on Friday to see if Karen has time to see my tracker that I've already printed out. I'm also going to bring a picture of the triplets because she has quad grandkids!


Okay, I think that's it for now. I'm so excited that I could just keep blogging all night long. I can only hope that everyone has or has had an experience like I did today in a meeting. It rocked!!


Picture is of left overs (baked chicken and fried rice) and the cookies (all in David's lunch).

I'm Glad I Woke Up

I didn't sleep much last night so after I dropped Bayou off at daycare I came home and went back to bed. Part of the reason I went back to bed was that I felt depressed. I really didn't feel like participating in the world today. I did promise myself I was going to go to the 9:30am WW meeting but honestly I went to bed and thought if I get up, fine, and if I didn't that would have been fine too. Usually I sleep about an hour but I didn't wake up until 9:17am! Yikes! The meeting started at 9:30am. I really had a good excuse for not going then. I didn't want to walk in late even though I know it's okay to do that and lots of people do. I knew I didn't want to go because I'm gaining weight back this week. Even though it wasn't weigh in day I just didn't want to go. So, what did I do? I went to the meeting.


I made most of the lights on the drive there but still was going to be about 5 minutes late. I thought about turning around and going home. But I didn't. When I got to the meeting, late, it hadn't even started yet so I wasn't walking in late. Good thing #1. Another reason I thought about not going to the meeting is that I knew they would be talking about Halloween and candy and not only did I not want to hear about candy again I just didn't want to talk about food. But again, I went anyway. The presentation sheet said "Trick or Treat" on it and I sighed thinking, "here we go again". Then Karen started talking.


She said that she knew that a lot of people were having trouble with motivation and really needed to be at the meeting. I almost started crying. She went on about how we needed to be at meetings and that not showing up was giving up. Everything she said applied to how I felt when I got there. I just sat there thinking of all the reasons that I didn't want to go and was shocked when she didn't talk about candy but talked about motivation and how we needed each other. I felt myself nodding my head in agreement to so many of the things that she was saying. I wish I could have recorded the meeting. It was so inspirational, motivating and encouraging.


Karen talked about tracking everything and making better choices. She handed out a 3 month journal to a lady in the meeting who was going to track for a week and then come back so she could look at it and let her know what things she needed to change to make this a more successful journey. Karen said that she had taken time to look at other people's journals to let them know where they were going wrong with the plan. I knew in that moment that I was going to ask Karen to look at my tracker (I can print out the online tracker).


I wish I could remember all the awesome things that Karen said but I was so emotional that I felt the meeting a bit more than I heard it. I just knew it was meant for me to be there. Karen did spend some time talking about candy but she wove it all into the motivational aspect of things. She made me and I'm sure a lot of other people feel so special. It was like she was directly talking to me and knew my story even though I hadn't said a word to her. She even talked about the sugar thing that I was researching yesterday. It was spooky (haha pun intended) that the Halloween talk was everything I needed to hear.


I decided to stay for the Getting Started meeting. It's been about a month since the first one and I thought that I would get more out of it this time. Boy, did I. Karen explained everything in detail and asked us questions as she went along. It took about half and hour compared to the 10-15 minutes the first one took. I'm not slighting the leader who did that meeting, I think it was just that we all were new and didn't know what to ask or what to say. I learned so much in the meeting that I felt like I needed to rush home to write everything down.


Before I left though I told Karen that I was struggling this week and asked if she would look at my tracker on Friday and she said she would. (continued)

Pain, pain go away..

don't come back any other day either. We have a cold front moving in late today and every bone in my body is aching. I've been up most of the night. I'll bring Bayou to daycare this morning and then come home and sleep since I don't have anything planned for today. I'll probably pick her up around 3pm, earlier if the rain/snow starts moving in. I have to get to my appointments tomorrow so I'm hoping the snow will hold off long enough for me to do that. If there's a 5:30pm meeting tomorrow night I'll have David drive us over in the Jeep. I'm not sure how I'd know if they canceled beside showing up and the center being closed. I'm sure we'll be able to judge by the weather if we should go or not.

Typically when I feel achy like this I crave comfort foods but I'm not having those type of cravings. So far. I'm hurting so bad that I'm not even thinking about eating. I had a granola bar earlier and some juice. I might have some waffles with fruit later. I do need to go to the store today so I'll get that done early. I need bread and a few other things. I'll just run over to Target.

Well, tomorrow is weigh in day and I'm up a couple of pounds going by my scale so I'm not going to expect a loss to show up on the WW scale this week. I thought about not weighing in but that would not be helpful to me. I need to know where I stand. When I look back over the week I'll see that I've had way too much juice. All the sugar in it has me gaining weight back. I should stick to Power Foods today when I can. It's hard to do though when I'm achy and tired.

I don't think I've taken any ibuprofen since last night either so I'll take some of that and see if that helps. If I had my swim trunks I'd go over to the Y and sit in their hot tub but I don't want to do it without swim trunks.

I can't wait to see Dr. Jinkins tomorrow too. I'm sure he can do something for me. He's a good ortho doctor.

I'm getting sleepy so I'm going to sign off for now. I'll check in later this morning. Have a great OP day everyone!!

"Beat The Sugar Habit"

Another good article on getting sugar out of your life:

Beat The Sugar Habit

Sugar - The Bitter Truth

Sugar - The Bitter Truth



I watched this hour and a half video on YouTube today because someone here in the community suggested it. I had been talking about seeing something that said that sugar is NOT addictive and I was saying that even if it wasn't it felt like it was this weekend because of the doughnut cravings. I was saying that I felt like I was on crack and I needed a fix. LOL I was directed to this site. I couldn't get the video to play on the site (not the a site issue but a laptop issue for me) but I could on YouTube so I've linked to both. Anyway, this site talks about how sugar is addictive and is like a drug with withdrawals and cravings. Hmmm. Got my attention.


The video is very technical in parts (physics) but I was able to hang with it so anyone should be able to. ;) It's amazing what this man has to say. It's given me a whole new perspective on sugar. If you watch it let me know what you think. I also looked up the Paleolithic Diet Plan. It's also very interesting. I found this site that explains the diet and gives sample shopping lists and a meal plan. It's something I may look into slowly implementing while I am on WW. As for the Sugar video:


He explains, among other things:

• Why sugar is the primary cause of obesity in both children and adults, and where we get most of the sugar in our diets.
• The connection between sugar and high blood pressure, diabetes, cardiovascular disease, liver disease, insulin resistance, and more.
• Why some calories make us fat, while other calories don’t – which also means that everything we’ve been told about dieting and losing weight is wrong.

The video is by Robert H. Lustig, MD, Professor of Pediatrics in the Division of Endocrinology and Director of the Weight Assessment for Teen and Child Health (WATCH) Program at UCSF.
I really would be interested to know if anyone watches the video or checks out these sites what your opinion is. NO wonder Raquel looks so good! LOL

30 Days of Blogging beginning 11/1/11

Beginning November 1st I'm going to blog about the following things so that you might all get to know me better. I'll still have my usual blogs too. This just seems to be a neat idea. It will start a week from today. I'm looking forward to doing it.



30 Days of Blogging

Day 1 - A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.
Day 2 - The meaning behind your blog name.
Day 3 - A picture of you and your friends.
Day 4 - A habit that you wish you didn't have.
Day 5 - A picture of somewhere you've been.
Day 6 - Your favorite Superhero and why.
Day 7 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.
Day 8 - Short term goals for this month and why.
Day 9 - Something you're proud of in the past few days.
Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyper, mad.
Day 11 - Another picture of you and your friends.
Day 12 - How you found out about blogs and why you made one.
Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 14 - A picture of you and your family.
Day 15 - Put your iPod on shuffle; first 10 songs that play.
Day 16 - Another picture of yourself.
Day 17 - Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why.
Day 18 - Plans/Dreams/Goals you have.
Day 19 - Nicknames you have; why do you have them?
Day 20 - Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future.
Day 21 - A picture of something that makes you happy.
Day 22 - What makes you different from everyone else?
Day 23 - Something you crave a lot.
Day 24 - A letter to your parents.
Day 25 - What I would find in your purse.
Day 26 - What you think about your friends.
Day 27 - Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?
Day 28 - A picture of you in the last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29 - In this past month what have you learned?
Day 30 - Who are you?

••• Day 1 coming soon ♥

Happy Monday! It's a new day!

I love how my daily points change over every day. I'm glad they don't give you your daily points added up for the week and let you have at it. It's so much easier to start over fresh each day. So I have my 42 daily PPV's and also 6 WPPA's left until Wednesday at 12:00am. I'm not craving doughnuts since I took care of that so I'm thinking that I might get out of this week (my week, Wed - Tues) with my AP's intact. I'm pretty sure I've gained weight though but this isn't just about the weight. I'm making lifestyle changes that I can keep forever and that's a good thing. I'm changing my thinking, my eating and my attitude about food and about life. Those are some big changes and it's all courtesy of WW.

After I drop Bayou off at daycare, I'll come home and take a shower. Before I know it, it will be time to go to my 9:30am meeting. It's only 5:30am now though so I have four hours til meeting time. I'll probably get there early and hang out before the meeting. I wish I was better at talking to people. I usually sit there until someone talks to me. I always sit in the back so I'm not around a group of people like I would be if I sat in the front section. That's okay though, maybe I'll be a front group person one day soon.

I think I'll go back to bed for an hour or so. I'm getting sleepy. Or I could empty the dishwasher and fill it back up again. Nah, sleep sounds so much better. lol

Finally Gave In. Oh Well.

I purposely went to the 7-Eleven and got 2 yeast glazed doughnuts, 14 points total. I didn't get a soda because I wasn't really craving one. The doughnuts are history already. I ate them with a fork to make them last longer but they still went pretty quick. I feel satisfied and full now. I want to make myself feel guilty but I'm not going to do that. I have the points to eat 2 doughnuts and now I've taken care of the craving. It wasn't the greatest treat I've ever had but it ran a close 2nd or 3rd. LOL 

I don't like eating for emotional reasons but this has been 2 days of torture that I knew I could "fix" with food, specifically 2 yeast glazed doughnuts. Now I feel calm and relaxed. It's hard to believe that food can have such a significant effect on me.

I ended my "not been to 7-Eleven in weeks" streak but that's okay. I've just start over and be grateful that I've been able to stay out of there for so long. I really was there every day and sometimes twice a day. So I'm making remarkable progress. Next time I will know to just take care of the craving so I'm not overeating everything else until I get what I'm craving. I'm certainly not going to give in to every craving I have but something like this, yes, sure. Sometimes you just have to have what you are craving.

I still have 12 daily points left and 23 WAP's until Wednesday, so I'm really not doing too bad. I just didn't want to give in to the craving but life is good now that I have. I'm glad I don't get like that every day.

Wednesday will be a big day for me. I drop Bayou off around 7:30am, see the ortho doc at 10am, Alicia at 11:30am, pick up Bayou around 3:00-3:30pm and weigh in at 5:30pm. I'm tired already just thinking of it. And it's supposed to be a snowy day so I'm not looking forward to that. My schedule could change dependent on how the roads are that day. I'm going to do my best to get to all my appointments though.

I don't see being able to start hiking next week but maybe the pool might be an option. I ordered a pair of swim trunks on Amazon to wear over my swim suit. My legs are just so big that I don't want them all showing like they would in a swim suit. I may get a swim shirt too so I don't have to wear the swim suit at all . I don't like how flabby my arms look. I'll just have to see what happens at the ortho on Wednesday. I'd love to just back to hiking but the PA didn't think that would happen for a full two weeks which won't be until the 31st. My ortho appointment is the 26th. Getting an MRI would just make me feel so much better and I'm sure Dr. Jinkins will okay that. Just walking around the house hurts. It also hurts when I cross my leg (right on top of left). I get a really sharp pain that makes me jump. That's what makes me think there is a structural problem not just irritation but I could be wrong. Maybe the ITB is catching on something in the outer side of my knee. I have a heat pack on it today. I forgot to put it on yesterday. It definitely makes a difference having it on.

NASCAR is on today so I have something to do while I sit and rest my leg. Beside think of food that is. LOL

Feelings (anxiety)

The anxiety over food has passed. For now. With a little help from my pharmaceutical friends (Xanax) I was able to get to sleep for a few hours. It's 2:30am right now and I've been up since about 1:30am. I'm tired and should be back in bed. I'll go soon.

I realize I'm going to have to have a plan of attack for times like yesterday that don't involve eating myself out of house and home. If it means taking Xanax for a while, I'm willing to do that. More importantly though I'd like to be able to work through the feelings. I know they will pass but when I'm in the middle of it it seems that they (anxiety and cravings) are going to last forever. It truly is a horrible experience.

I know that eating all the time to subdue cravings and abate feelings is not the best thing for me.

I'm having an anxiety attack right now. I feel fidgety and like I have to get up and run away. But, away from what? Or to what? Food? It's the middle of the night. I am NOT going to eat in the middle of the night. I got a small bottle of water instead. I wonder if dehydration can cause this feeling I'm having right now? I'm so tired of having this anxiety. It stinks!

I can go to the 9am WW meeting this morning (if I'm awake!). I need to hear what Anne is going to say. I need to learn tricks to deal with the treats and not just for Halloween.

I can see that I'm going to have to do some work with Alicia around this issue too. I don't know how she will approach it but I'm willing to try anything to help me get food under control. I need a single point of contact to be accountable with. I hope she can do that for me. We still need to work on my issues regarding regarding the weather and driving. 

So, I'm drinking water instead of eating junk food or any food at all. It's not even 3am. I don't need to be eating at this time of day. One person on one of the groups I belong to on the WW site suggested that I stay away from the carbs in the morning and early day because they are setting me up for cravings for sugary carbs throughout the day. And that is what has been happening. I eat a bowl of cereal with sugar every morning to start off my day. I need to eat protein and veggies instead but I don't know what that would look like (eggs and veggies??). I'll have to do some research on healthier options for breakfast. I honestly like my bowl of cereal because it's quick to prepare. No muss, no fuss. 

What are some ideas for a better breakfast? I'll check the WW site after I finish this up. I'm sure there are lots of suggestions and recipes there. But do I have to get rid of this craving first? Should I just do the doughnut thing and get it over with? I don't want to go to the 7-Eleven though. I haven't been there and want to stay out of there. There is nothing inside there for me but junk and snacks.

I think that starting today I will weigh and measure most of my food. I think I'm giving myself portions that are too big. When I got on the scale last night I was back up to 289.4. I don't want to regress. I know that portion control is key. I've been weighing and measuring some things but not all of them. I'll check out the WW store at the center and see if they have a scale that measures grams. That would be helpful. Portion control, portion control, portion control. When it says 8 crackers or 14 chips, I have to make sure that's what I'm getting and not fudging the amount in the upward direction. I know I've been doing that.

But it's all okay. I'm realizing the errors of my ways and finding ways to fix them. Whatever it takes, I will do. I'm not afraid to try.

I've drank almost a gallon of juice since Friday. That's ridiculous. I'm limiting myself to one 8 oz glass a day of juice and that's it. Other than that I need to drink water or hot tea. No more letting my 48 oz of liquids be juice. It's killing me by taking points and it's definitely adding weight to my body. It will be sad if I gained weight this past week. Man, I want to get out there and hike!

Change of plans

I decided to go to the 12:15pm meeting instead of the 9am meeting for two reasons. First, I wanted to get my errands done before I went to the meeting because Bayou needed dog food and I didn't want to keep her waiting to have breakfast and second, there is a leader I haven't heard speak before (Meredy) leading the 12:15pm meeting. I already gassed up the car (didn't stop in the store for anything), bought the pet food (and remembered to use my coupon) and got my hair cut (it was in my eyes and the bugs the heck out of me). I put Bayou in her kennel while I ran errands, but won't have to do that when I go to my meeting because David is already home from work. They didn't have to work very long (about 2 hours). I'm glad he's home so Bayou doesn't have to go in her kennel a second time. She does great in her kennel, no whining or anything, I just don't like to have to put her in there. I'll leave for my meeting in about 20 minutes.

I'm looking forward to seeing who Meredy is and hearing her speak. It will be the same topic today (Lose for Good overview) but every leader has their own way of doing meetings. Everyone one of course has their own unique personality and brings that to the meeting. I'm wondering how many people will be there on a Saturday an 12:15pm. I think the Wednesday night meeting is the biggest meeting but I haven't been to all of the meetings, but most of them. This coming week I'll definitely go to Pat's 9:30am meeting and Dori's 5:30pm meeting. Beside that I'll probably just show up each day at one or another.

Wednesday I'll go to the ortho doc to see what's going on with my knee. I'm going to lobby for an MRI. My knee isn't too bad right now but it is early in the day. I have no other errands to run so I won't be using it too much today. Just driving to my meeting and back. I will try to get to laundry and dishes but I can do those things in 10  minute blocks so I won't put too much strain on my leg. Keeping my legs warm seems to help too. 

Time to get ready for the meeting. I don't know if it will be 30 minutes or if it will be longer. Should be fun though.

Happy Saturday!

The weekend is here but it feels like a weekday to me. David is off working and Bayou wants to go to daycare. I don't usually take her on the weekends but I might because I need to rest my knee. If she stays settled down I'll keep her home though. She's up on the couch laying down right now, so not a problem. 

I think I got up last night and had some grapes. I sort of remember doing it and it does look like some grapes are gone. I take Ambien CR so doing stuff while I'm half asleep in the middle of the night is an issue. At least I chose a good, healthy snack. :-)

My right leg now hurts, not just my knee. It hurts all the way up to my hip and it's pain, not just sore or achy. I know it's compensation injuries. I'm walking funny because of the knee pain and it's throwing off my whole body. I did keep the Thermacare wrap on all night and that helps out somewhat. It's still warm to the touch so I'll keep it on for a while longer. I like to get all I can out of them since they are so expensive.

There are 3 meetings this morning. I might try to go to one. Ila does the 7:30am and 9am. Meredy runs the 12:15pm. I'll have to shower before I go whic is a major pain with my hurt leg. So as soon as I'm ready to get up I'll shower and go. Bayou will have to go into her kennel. I just took my ibuprofen and muscle relaxer so I should be able to take a shower in a hour or so.

For breakfast I had a bowl of rice krispies. I'll have a piece of fruit in a little while. I'm feeling satisfied right now. I will definitely have to bring a snack to the WW meeting though. I always get hungry when I'm in there. Maybe if I bring a quiet snack I can eat while I'm in there and won't walk out hungry and craving 7-Eleven doughnuts. Maybe.

I better go take my shower. It's almost 8am and the meeting is at 9am. I'll stop at the pet food store on the way home and get little miss Bayou some food. She's all out and hungry this morning. I've given her quite a few biscuits to tide her over.

Off I go to start my day.

Struggling Tonight

I just want to eat. I had a pear and I thought that would take care of the craving but it didn't so I had some chips. I knew I didn't really want to use points for chips but I did. ~sigh~ It's okay though. I had PPWA points so I'm still okay with my total points. I'm going to have to watch the next 4 days though (I weigh in on Wednesday evening). I still have 25 weekly points and my points each day so I should be okay. I want weight loss though not maintenance so I have to back off since I can't work out. I'm not going to have anything else that claims points tonight so it's not a major crisis but I feel like it was a slip. A little slip but a slip nonetheless.

Now that I've had the chips I feel better. Yeah, it was a feeling I was eating away not hunger. I know that now. I know that as time goes on I'll understand better the difference between eating because of emotions and eating because of  hunger. I guess I'm starting to get it since I realize it tonight. Realized it a bit late, but I realized it. I have to figure out why I eat when I feel instead of just feeling my emotions. I'm sure that it must be related to how I was brought up. Feeling bad? Eat. Feeling good? Eat. Having problems? Eat. That's how it was growing up in my family. My mom cooked for every occasion or event no matter how small or big it was. I think I just depended on food to be my friend. Sad to say that, but it's true. I didn't have any real friends so I turned to food.

So what's going to be different now? Well, I have friends for one thing. I just need to remember that instead of trying to do this on my own. I also have new friends to look forward to on this journey if I just keep my eyes open to finding them. I know food is not my friend but a necessary part of life that fuels my body but if my body isn't doing anything it doesn't need as much fuel. And I know that the fuel I put into my body has to be healthy not all the carbs and junk that I was eating. I know things now that I can't unknow so there is no going back. There is only going forward from here on out.

Another Good Dinner

Ingrediments (as I call them, lol):


2 russet potatoes
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 tsp Crazy Jane's Mixed Up Salt
ground pepper
2 ground beef patty
2 Borden sliced american cheese
2 Oroweat Sandwich Thins, multi-grain


I cut the potatoes in wedges (6 per potato), skins on, and put them in a plastic baggie, added the olive oil, salt and pepper and mixed it all together. I baked them in the oven for 35 minutes, turning once or twice so they could brown on both sides. David grilled the ground beef patties, added the cheese and we put them on Sandwich thins (instead of big burger buns).


It was yummy. David got his first and sat down and said, "you'll probably want to just give me those potatoes, they're not very good *wink, wink*" (meaning they were so good he wanted mine too!). When I took the first bite of the potato wedges I was quite happy at how they turned out. I have to thank my friend Lisa for telling me how to make them. They were easy to prepare and cook. Probably 45 minutes from start to finish. The whole meal was 12 points. Kind of a lot but worth it. Dessert will be fruit (probably a pear and/or watermelon).


I'm really happy with the meals that we are having and extremely glad that David is helping out by doing all the grilling. Here in Colorado we can grill throughout the year so I'll be planning on the nice days to do something on the grill when it works out. David is tracking all of his food (without me saying anything). We sit together and figure out how to enter everything. I try to plan out the meal ahead of time and that makes it easier when David has a question. Plus I know my PPV's for my food before I make a meal. Doing that helps me to make changes when something doesn't look good (too high PPV).


This is my fourth Friday on the plan and I can't believe I'm still sticking with it. I usually last a day or two on a diet but since this is a lifestyle change I'm more into doing it all (tracking, meetings, changing diet, etc.). I'm happy at how well it has been going. I have to admit that I stepped on the scale at home today and it showed I was down another pound which is nice. I know it fluctuates day to day, so I try not to get on the scale very often at home. I like the surprise (hopefully good) at weigh in day. I'm already looking forward to next Wednesday no matter which way it goes. I can learn from the week behind me and use it to make the week ahead better.


Well, it's Friday. David has to work tomorrow so I may put Bayou in daycare again for just a half a day. I have little errands to do (gas up the car, get dog food) but not much beside that. I hope everyone has a great weekend and stays OP.

Week # 4

I've just started week # 4. So, what's changed for me?

• I go to a WW's meeting almost every day and I'm enjoying it!
• I track all my food and I'm having fun doing it!
• I make healthier choices when it comes to food and activity!
• I don't go to the 7-Eleven anymore for junk food, pastries, soda!
• I don't go out for fast food!
• I look for ways to get activity into my day!
• I'm not napping every day!
• I have more energy!
• I've lost 10 pounds
• David has joined Weight Watchers!
• I'm losing inches!
• I eat fruits and vegetables!
• David and I cook healthy meals together!
• I look forward to weighing in on Wednesdays

Those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head. It's incredible how much has changed in 3 weeks time. I feel like my how life has changed just by joining WW.

What things have changed in your life since joining WW? What things have changed in just the last 3 weeks?

I went to the WW meeting at 10am. Karen wasn't there but Christine was so I was very pleasantly surprised. It was nice to have a meeting with her as the leader. After the meeting though I really wanted to stop at the 7-Eleven to get a couple of doughnuts. I couldn't believe the craving I had. I didn't got though. Instead I went to the Target and picked up the few things on my list that I forgot yesterday. I wanted to get some candy corn or chocolate but I didn't. They didn't have the juice I wanted at the Target so I thought about stopping by the Walgreen's to get it but I knew if I stopped there I would get a snack and a soda, so I bypassed the Walgreen's and went to the King Soopers. I knew I'd have to walk more there and would just get the juice. On the way in I went by the candy aisle and had that craving for chocolate but I just went right on by. I got the juice, didn't pick up anything at the register and walked out. I thought about stopping at Subway but didn't do that either. I came home and made my lunch, a ham and cheese sandwich & chips. I'll have some fruit in a just a little while. I'm still craving the junk but I didn't get any. It was hard to resist but I was able to do it. The feelings will pass, I know they will. It's not that I can't have a treat, it's just that I don't want to have one for the wrong reasons. Leaving WW meetings are the toughest times for me. That time between the end of the meeting and getting home is my most venerable. McDonald's and 7-Eleven and Walgreen's are on the way home, so convenient, but being this overweight is not convenient at all. Yeah, I could justify stopping and spending a $1 on 2 doughnuts by thinking that, hey, I went to 5 meetings this week, I deserve a reward, but who does that help and when do I stop. I stop by not getting started in the first place.

So, it wasn't an easy morning but I am proud that I was able to restrain myself. I want to figure out a reward for going to meetings and losing weight that's not totally food related. It would have to be something that is substantial though. If anyone has any ideas of ways to reward myself, I'd appreciate the suggestions. One lady at the meeting this morning said that another lady bought herself a new pair of socks for every pound she lost. Well, I don't need 124 pair of socks so it will have to be something different than that but I've got to so something. Maybe a sticker on the calendar for every day that I attend a meeting and something special for every pound or 5 lbs that I lose. I've got to come up with something. Ideas welcome.

Okay, I need to get the laundry going. Enough sitting around for now. I need to get p and do something or I'll end up at the 7-Eleven. LOL More later.