Disrespect

I had a very intense session with Marianne today. I did talk about the eating issues with her. I realize that David's not really supporting me in my efforts. Anyway, I was really anxious after my appointment and stopped at the 7-11 and got 2 candy bars. Don't know why I did it but I did. The good news is that it was not enjoyable at all eating the candy bars. Bad news - I ate them anyway. It didn't make me feel better. I felt worse after I ate them. Another learning experience. I haven't had a meal since breakfast. I've just been snacking today (graham crackers, gingersnaps). Nothing very healthy today. I'm not going to let this throw me off track though. I'm going to walk in the morning with Lisa and I'm going to work on eating better tomorrow too. I can only go forward from here. It doesn't do any good to live in the past.

Tonight David and I went and looked for that trail up by High Chaparral Open Space. It's not easy to find. I'm going to have to look for maps of the area to help me out a bit. If the maps don't help we can always go to Palmer Park and walk the Mesa Trail up there. I'm not going to stress out about it.

One thing that happened tonight that bothered me was on the way home David stopped at the 7-11 and asked me to go in and get a coke for him. He wasn't dressed to go into the store so he asked me to go in. I told him that I would but it would be the last time that I would do it. I told him that it's too hard for me to go into the store and not get something. I think it's disrespectful of him to have asked me to do it. He says he understands the issues I have with food but obviously he does not. I'm going to stick by what I said and not go into the store for him anymore. It sabotages the work I've been doing to go into the store and get junk. I'm done with that.

I did my kitchen inventory tonight and sent a copy to Lisa. There were a lot of things that were expired (some by up to 2 years - ewww!) and I think most of my spices are old too. I'm not sure how long spices last so I'll have to check into whether or not I'll need to get new bottles of spices. I don't have a lot of real food. Not a lot of junk either, but no meats, not much in the veggie department and more Splenda than I need. LOL I'm sure I'll have to pick up a few more things than I thought I would at the store. Again, Lisa is going to help me with that (what would I do without her?).

I'm feeling better tonight, like I have a plan now. It's not a very detailed plan but it's something. I've got to get to bed though since I have to be up at 6am tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to walking with Lisa and spending time with her. It will make my morning walk even more enjoyable.