It's quarter to one in the morning. The middle of the night. I woke up and wasn't feeling well so I got up. My stomach is bothering me. I feel like I did when I would eat a lot of junk food. It's not a good feeling. Funny thing is that my first thought was to get something to eat to make the bad feeling go away. I didn't do that. I caught myself and realized that eating wouldn't make it better but would probably make it worse. Emotionally I might feel better, for a little bit, but then the bad feeling would be back. I almost feel like I'm purging toxins from my system (not that I really know what that's like, but if I did, this would be it). It certainly isn't from over eating. I've been very careful about what I'm having to eat.
Thursday I had some Boost, a protein smoothie, the rest of the Boost, gingersnaps and raisins (that was spread throughout the day, not all at one time). Maybe I'm over doing it with the walks and my body is rebelling. Or maybe it's that I'm not drinking enough water. I knew to expect this feeling during this transition but I was hoping that it wouldn't happen. Oh well.
Maybe I'm mentally psyching myself out so I don't have to walk or eat better. No matter, I'm not going to give in to it. I can always just walk the little loop if I'm not feeling very well. I'm sure this is hard for my sedentary body to adjust to. I just want to feel some results. For some reason that thought made me think about weighing myself. I'm not going to do that because it usually backfires on me. The numbers aren't what count. Not day to day anyway.
Speaking of numbers, these are ones that count: My cholesterol numbers are looking great. The change in diet and taking the medication has me right where I need to be. I'm hoping that once I'm in better shape I'll be able to come off that medicine too. No hurry though.
I'm probably also reacting to not sleeping all day. I went from being in bed most of the day to being up most of the day now. That's a drastic change. There are lots of changes that my body is going through so feeling kind of ill doesn't surprise me. I don't like it, but it doesn't surprise me.
I just remembered that I drank a glass of orange juice after dinner last night. I bet the acid in the OJ is making me feel this way. I've got to limit myself on the OJ. I need to keep it to the one splash in my protein smoothie and not drink large glasses of it. Water is the safest and best thing to drink. Although there are a lot of times when drinking water makes me feel sick too. I really need to hydrate my body properly if I'm going to take these long walks. I'll try the camel pack this morning when I walk. I should be drinking lots of water at night too so my body is hydrated for the next morning.
So many changes to make but I feel up to the challenge. Probably the most difficult thing is not being able to take an anti-inflammatory medicine. I can feel the inflammation in my back, my hips, my legs and my right thumb (where I had surgery). I certainly don't want to exhaust myself and not be able to keep up with the walking. The walking sets me free, gives me hope and is critical to the weight loss.
I was thinking about how hard it is for me to change my diet to healthy food. My snacks are nutritionist approved but they are still snacks (ginger snaps, fig newtons, cashews, raisins). I live for the snacks. I'm hoping that the day comes soon when I don't need a snack. Being addicted to food doesn't stop when you quit eating the junk food. It's very easy to become regimented in what I eat each day. I know it sounds boring but I'm okay with a protein smoothie for breakfast, a Boost for lunch and a light dinner. If I can toss in a few snacks during the day, I think that I can change the way I relate with food. Boring and regimented is easiest for me right now. I get overwhelmed if I have to eat too many foods. I like easy. I like convenient. I can still get easy and convenient while eating healthier choices.
Right now I'm thinking that I'll take a slow walk in the morning and possibly a shorter walk too. I'm just not feeling too good right now. Then again getting a good walk in could be just the thing that I need to feel better. I'll see when I get out there. I'm worried about the weight of the camel pack. I don't want it to effect my back any more than it is being effected. Once again, I think hydration is the key to making my muscles happy. I'm already looking forward to that protein smoothie in the morning.
It's about 1:15am. I should think about going back to bed. Sleep would help me out too. I don't sleep for more than a few hours at a time is seems. Maybe my sleep will improve as my activity level goes up. A girl can hope.
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