I've been having a lot of bad dreams lately that involve my family of origin. I woke up from one this morning at about 4:30am. I felt so anxious that I had a bowl of cereal (which I would have had anyway later in the morning) and took my morning meds. I'm not mad at myself for eating a bowl of cereal. What I am having difficulty with is that instead of writing about the dream or just sitting with the discomfort, I ate. Then I went back to bed and got up about 20 minutes ago (around 9am). I usually get a stomach ache if I eat and go back to bed and I did this morning. I'm not feeling so good this morning. Because I don't feel good I don't want to go out for a walk. I could always walk later today but I should just get out ther and do it now. I'll be going over to Lisa's today so I need to get my day going. But once again I'm procrastinating.
Procrastination is horrible. Whatever I'm procarstinating about stays with me, like a storm cloud over my head, until I do what I need to do. I don't feel good when I put things off. I feel haunted. Why not just do it and be done then? There must be a payoff for procrastinating. I'll need to think about what it is.
I think I'm going to take some allergy medicine and go for a walk. It looks nice out there so I'm going to get out there and enjoy the day.
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