Got an "A" on my test

Up in the middle of the night again. I realize that I made it through the testing. I didn't ask David to get me anything at Wendy's and I said no when he offered me some of his food. I thought I would feel angry or anxious but instead I feel empowered. I don't need or deserve to put junk food into my body. What I need and what I deserve is to take care of myself and to be as healthy as I can be in this moment. It would have been easy to give in yesterday because I was feeling defeated. I want to feel some weight loss and I don't. I'm sure something is happening and it's so subtle that I'm just not picking up on it. This is not a mile race, it is a marathon. It is not a microwave but a slow cooker. It is about each step that leads to the next step. Weight loss will show itself soon enough, but until it does I can take solace in all the small victories. I made it without eating junk food. That is a victory.

My elbows are hurting because of inflammation. They feel very sore and uncomfortable. I also have a sore spot on my right knee. If I twist it just so it feels like I might fall down. And I also have 2 teeth that are hurting. Whine, whine, whine. LOL Inflammation is no fun do deal with. I may have to try some Tylenol is the pain everywhere persists.

Later this morning I am going to take a shower to start the day. I'll have a Boost for breakfast. Then David and I can go somewhere for a walk (maybe Garden of the Gods).


The weather is supposed to be beautiful today. I'm looking forward to being out there and enjoying the Garden. I'd like to get in at least a 20 minute walk. I think that David could do that without too much trouble. If he can't we'll just turn back. I may want to walk around the community today to increase my distance time for the day.

I'm already looking forward to Monday morning and going back up to Palmer Park to do the 45 minute loop. i want to get up there early (by 7am) so heat isn't an issue. I'll try out the camel pack and see how it works. If it works okay (meaning: I can still walk while carrying it) then I can take it with me on Monday morning.

I am so happy that I chose not to eat junk food. That's a big step for me. I wanted to give in and get some junk but I used my wise mind and decided it wasn't worth the momentary high. It would have made me feel like I was starting all over again and I don't want that feeling. I want to move forward. I know there might be some slips and I'll have to deal with those when they happen. I know that I won't be perfect at doing this but I'm going to do my best everyday. I want to see the pounds go away.

I've been very tempted to weigh myself. I hope that I'll see a smaller number and that I'll feel like I've accomplished something. But I've decided not to weigh myself and I'm going to stick with that decision. My sense of accomplishment is going to have to come from eating healthier and walking daily. I truly want to be in better shape for the 2nd half of my life than I have been up until now.